Review: Spider-Man 3 (2007)

“Never wound what you can’t kill.”
– Venom

Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is starting to relax a little bit. His life is going well, and he finally has the love of his life, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). However, his friendship with Harry Orborn (James Franco) is completely splintered, and there seems to be no end in sight. Harry has taken up the mantle of the new Green Goblin, still swearing to exact vengeance on Spider-Man for his father’s death, as well as knowing that Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

Things start to turn soon, though. Harry hunts Peter down and attacks him as the New Goblin, but ultimately comes off second best in the fight, and is grievously injured. When he regains consciousness in the hospital, he has no recollection of the events that brought him there, and his short term memory has been wiped clean. Peter does not feel the need to enlighten him, either. Soon Mary Jane is fired from her theatre production, and Spider-Man saves Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) from a careening crane, and is awarded the Key to the City. As though things were not growing distant and difficult with Peter and Mary Jane, he kisses Gwen in the ultra-famous Spider-Man kiss. Mary Jane turns to Harry, who is starting to remember.

The overly-friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man

Peter battles with a new photographer at the Daily Bugle, Eddie Brock (Topher Grace), who is intent on getting permanent office space from J Jonah Jameson (J.K. Simmons). To bear this prestige, one of them has to produce a photo of Spider-Man committing a crime. A meteoric black substance has made it to Earth and has its sights set on Peter. Mary Jane has had it with Peter, but is forced to make that call final when the New Goblin makes her a pawn in his war. Peter is crushed, and does not know what to do. When the black substance eventually attaches itself to Peter, he feels much better, and his conscious is clear, though he becomes a world class douche-bag. Dr Conners (Dylan Baker) warns Peter that the substance is a symbiote, and that it will need a host to bind to, and if it gets on to Peter, it will have its wish. This helps nothing, as it is already changing Peter, and he is pushing the people around him away. He is losing touch with is humanity and making a hell of a lot of enemies.

An Emo kid? Some hardcore symbiote that is…

All the while there is a new threat in town, Flint Marko (Thomas Haden Church), a.k.a. the Sandman. On the run from the police, he gets caught in a science project, in a particle accelerator. It changes his make-up, and he can become sand, weaving it and collapsing it. He uses this gift/curse for the negative, to rob and steal – but his intentions were initially pure. Captain Stacy (James Cromwell) drops a massive bomb in Peter’s and Aunt May’s (Rosemary Harris) laps about the night that Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) died.

“I want him dead too, Flint.” – Venom

Peter is sought out by more than one villain, and Mary Jane is again a piece that they will use to bring him to his knees. Venom rises from the symbiote’s ashes the moment it finds the relevant host, and between the Sandman and Venom, Spider-Man has his hands full trying to protect the city, find himself and make amends. Will he be able to find himself, be free of the draw that the symbiote brings with its darkness and power, and will he ever be able to fix things between himself, Mary Jane and himself and Harry?

Well, a 4/10 for Spider-Man 3. This was really one terrible flick. I was extremely unimpressed, I will say that now. An emo Peter Parker? Puh-lease, not what we need. And his hair shifting like that and some dark eyeliner did not make him any more sexy or attractive, whatever he thought would come first. The effects also left a lot to be desired, and this has nothing to do with the film’s time. The two before it looked far better. Venom was also just lacking a lot, so that was that I suppose. Mary Jane just got on my nerves again (surprise surprise), and Topher Grace was just not working for this one. The French Maître d’ (Bruce Campbell) made me laugh a lot though, that was highly entertaining. This film had the distinct feeling that too much was trying to be squeezed into a single film, and I feel that there was not enough explanation and build up given for the majority of the events and how things happened. Definitely the worst Spider-Man of the trio by far.