JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Generations (1994)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lookie here!! This is my third post in a row to host over here on TSCOABB (pronounced sko-ab for those in the know) (the T is silent). Well, maybe it is, maybe it’s not – I just made that shit up. Now we enter the Next Generation phase and, like I wrote below, these certainly aren’t my favorite movies or crew. I guess I just never really identified with them like I did with original gang. I thought Data was kind of a Spock rip-off and I just never got into Ryker. I wonder if JB liked this?? Let’s see!

star trek generations poster

SYNOPSIS: In the late 23rd century, the gala maiden voyage of the third Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701-B) boasts such luminaries as Pavel Chekov, Montgomery Scott and the legendary Captain James T. Kirk as guests. But the maiden voyage turns to disaster as the unprepared ship is forced to rescue two transport ships from a mysterious energy ribbon. The Enterprise manages to save a handful of the ships’ passengers and barely makes it out intact… but at the cost of Captain Kirk’s life. Seventy-eight years later, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise-D find themselves at odds with the renegade scientist Tolian Soran… who is destroying entire star systems. Only one man can help Picard stop Soran’s scheme… and he’s been dead for seventy-eight years. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Alrighty, I am going to be dead honest here: I am not a fan of the Next Gen movies. Sorry people, but it is true. I find them to be… meh… I think a large part of that I am going to blame on Data irritating the absolute hell out of me all the time. Apparently I am seriously in the minority on my opinion there, but I really don’t care. He sucks more often than not! Generations was most certainly a less irritating outing for him though.

star trek generations enterprise

I know that this one is definitely one of the better Next Gen films, but I was still not bowled over by it. It was great to see Scotty, Kirk and Chekov, however briefly, before moving on to the meatier side of things, but I just felt that this was a bit of a missed opportunity. There was so much that just felt rushed, and then other stuff that just took forever to go anywhere. Like Picard’s nephew dying, it was a serious thing that was almost just swept under the rug as though it was unimportant. Confused me endlessly, I won’t even lie.

Sadly, my favourite bits all featured the original members. Chekov taking command and making nurses of random people made me giggle, though the situation was supposed to be serious. I also could not lend credibility in the Enterprise just leaving Spacedock, magically encountering a problem moments out, yet are able to say that nobody else is close enough to go on ahead and sort it all out. That Enterprise wasn’t even actually ready to leave Spacedock at all, it wasn’t equipped with just about anything, but they are supposed to go ahead and answer distress calls. Mmmmhmmmmm. Sure.

I am, however, a fan of Patrick Stewart, and I did enjoy his character of Picard. I just think that it is a little more difficult when the majority of the crew members are just there for me, and not necessarily people I like. They weren’t people I got involved with at all, and I don’t feel like they contributed anything of value to the story. Don’t get me wrong, I was never a Kirk fan per se, but the rest of the crew from the original films was awesome! I suppose we will see if anything changes and anyone grows on me some more this time around, but I am not so sure.

star trek generations data yes

Kirk’s ultimate write out was just a little… meh. It was embarrassing and fast and not the kind of goodbye you would expect after all this time. I suppose I wanted more. This movie had a really weak premise, a lot of lull, other arb stuff just happening. I think I was just let down because I expected more bang from having the two captains together. That alone had the potential to just be awesome, and it never happened. Oh well, let’s see what the next one brings next week!

the chop

Hi. I don’t know if I am going to take any shit for this or not but… I never really got into this particular franchise… I know this is one of someone’s favorite TV SHOWS, but when this came out I had just turned 16 and was more interested in tooling around town trying to pick things up.1 That never really worked2 so in the end I had to go get a job so I could pay for gas and would sometimes catch these on re-runs late at night when I had come home from doing some underage beer drinking in the parking lot behind work (and failing to make out with anyone)3

So – this being the case – I am not TOO familiar with the TNG universe aside from 26 year old drunken memories of late night TV and having the hots for Marina Sirtis.4

SIRTIS1

Obviously, I’d seen this one because this is the one where Kirk dies5 but I’d only seen it the one time and wasn’t particularly impressed6 but I gave it another shot yesterday and…. yeah, sure…7

sirtis3

I think one of the things that really puts me off of TNG is Jonathan Frakes.8 I just can’t buy into him as a tough leading man. I also really can’t stand Brent Spiner and there was a LOT of Data in this movie.9 I do like the rest of the cast though, minus Whoopie Fucking Goldberg10 and the story was solid, but in the end I just felt like this was OK and, I’m not too familiar with the show but how about some of this:

sirtis2

I might need to check that episode out. Anyway, when I said I was watching this for our big project on twitter, the Nutter11 I linked to earlier said something like “DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY ANYTHING NASTY ABOUT PATRICK STEWART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and I said of course I wouldn’t because I love the guy and Jean Luc Picard is a stud. So, I figured it would be appropriate to end this with a little bit of this:

sirtis4

1 Chicks
2 DSB (See: Star Trek 3)
3 IBID
4 DSB Cure-All! (Patent Pending)
5 SPOILER!!!!
6 Not Arsed
7 IBID
8 IBID
9 Emotion Chip Bullshit
10 GROW SOME EYEBROWS WOMAN!!
11 What a Wanker

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47 thoughts on “JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – Generations (1994)

  1. Cale Morsen says:

    Star Trek:TNG was definitely my favourite of all the Trek incarnations, but the movies definitely did not do the characters or the franchise any justice. The heart of the show was always more about exploring moral quandaries and Roddenberry’s central theme of hope, but the movies kind of devolved into sci-fi action popcorn flicks with little depth. They also seemed to change the characters at will to serve the plot of the movie instead of staying “true” to seven seasons of established characterizations. Reading over this, I sound uber-geeky, so I’m going to stop here. (Also, Data and Riker are awesome, and I’ll have words with anyone who says different https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZkfm_m2ouo)

    Liked by 3 people

    • theipc says:

      Hey! Thanks for reading and commenting! There’s just something about the Next gen movies that – I don’t know – never resonated with me. I don’t hate them or anything, I guess I was just never a fan…

      They seemed too – happy and popcorny (like you said)

      Like

  2. Skeletor says:

    Totally agree, not a Data fan at all. I’m actually in the middle of watching this series worth my Much Better Half on Netflix. So far we have finished Deep Space 9 and Enterprise (with hot as Jolene Blalock as Topol, the hottest Star Trek Vulcan babe ever made). Honestly, Deep Space 9,though it was never quite as popular as the other series were, was my fav. I loved watching Odo and Quark go round and round. We also finished up Voyager, which features Red from Orange is the New Black as the captain. That one was OK. Her voice was sexy. And so was part robot Seven of Nine. This one, The New Gen, I’m having a really hard time getting into. I can’t stand Data, and there is only one hot chick. Needless to say,I don’t need to see a movie with these characters.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Skeletor says:

    I hate Data. He’s dull, boring, and definitely a Spock ripoff. I’ve been watching this series currently with the Much Better Half on Netflix. I know it’s not the most popular, but actually my favorite is Deep Space Nine. I loved watching Odo and Quark go back and forth. Voyager was OK. Red from Orange is the New Black is the captain and I got into listening to her Smoky sexy voice. Plus, they had uber hot Seven of Nine in Voyager as well. I loved Enterprise, that was also one of my favs. Are you kidding me? Jolene Blalock as Topol was the hottest Vulcan ever made! The Next Gen is lacking hot chicks, and I just can’t get over Data. I wouldn’t think twice about a junk punch on him.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. caragale says:

    LOL. I can’t wait to see Mutant’s reaction to that PatStew pic. Beautiful. I have only seen one of the Next Gen movies–that one with Tom Hardy. I thought it was okay. Is that one up next? I hope these aren’t too painful for you, Probesters. :/

    Liked by 2 people

    • table9mutant says:

      That Patrick Stewart pic is HOT!!!!! 😉

      Cara – you saw the worst one! First Contact is next and it’s the best. Hey – thanks for all the comments earlier. I LOVED seeing 32 notifications! Really cheered me up. 🙂 I’ll reply as soon as I can – just wanted to quickly comment on this review as I got the link notification. I’m hoping that by quitting the blog writing for a bit that I might have more time to read all your blogs again. I can’t find that balance between writing for my own as well as reading everyone else’s & also having a home life. :-/ But back to Star Trek & this review – The Next Generation RULES!!! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  5. table9mutant says:

    Wow – thanks for the linkage! I did LOOOOVE this TV show. 🙂 I’ll be doing my best to catch up on blog reading over the next week as I’ve quit the writing for now. But it still may take me a while so be patient. Real life gets in the way! 😦 😉

    1. I love Data. 😦 Well, I liked his friendship with Geordi more than anything – Geordi was always my favorite character. 🙂 And I liked Whoopi Goldberg too, dammit! I always wished her character had been in the show more!

    2. I don’t think I SWORE when I told you to not say bad things about Patrick Stewart. (Well, maybe I did. I’m pretty passionate about Patrick Stewart). 😉

    3. Good job, you two! Think I enjoyed this review the most. Possibly since it’s a Next Generation one… 😉

    4. Wil Wheaton!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. markmc2012 says:

    I felt like this film had a similar time travel plot to the series finale which had just aired months before this came out. The TV finale actually had a lot more heart than this film. I did enjoy seeing William Shatner smacking Malcom McDowell around.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. movierob says:

    i actually enjoyed this one a lot. They could have written his death scene more heroic, but apparently they originally had him die even lamer and needed to rewrite and reshoot that scene.

    Nice job u 2!

    Liked by 2 people

      • movierob says:

        copies from IMDB Trivia – “In the original version of the ending, Captain Kirk dies when Soran shoots him in the back, and Soran then dies when Captain Picard shoots him with his own disruptor pistol. The first edition of the film’s novelization told the story this way, but was later edited and republished. When this ending audience was shown to a test audience, Rick Berman remembers that an ominous silence was present in the room. The Executives at Paramount told Rick and writers Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga that the ending had to be reshot. The writers considered multiple scenarios, including forcefields and tunnels, among others. They finally settled on having a bridge present that would eventually collapse and provide an action sequence with Captain Picard, Captain Kirk and Soran. In four days time, the scaffolding sets were rebuilt at the Valley of Fire (the State of Nevada had kept the metal at the park following original filming) and a 65 foot bridge was flown in by helicopter and placed at the Valley of Fire. The actors returned, the ending was reshot to what was seen in the film. Rick Berman remembers that original photography occurred during the summer months in 110 degree heat, and when they returned, it was September and October and only about 80 degrees. Braga and Moore though have expressed dissatisfaction with how the ending turned out, even though it was better than Captain Kirk being shot in the back.”

        Liked by 1 person

      • Zoë says:

        Wow. They really just ruined this. I mean writing in a proper death could not be the most intense thing in the world. But that shooting one DOES sound worse. Who knew that was possible?!

        Liked by 1 person

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