Rapid Review: The Final Destination (2009)

“Something’s gonna happen, we are all gonna die! All right? ‘Cause there’s gonna be a crash!”
– Nick

SYNOPSIS: After a young man’s premonition of a deadly race-car crash helps saves the lives of his peers, Death sets out to collect those who evaded their end. – via IMDB

Holy. Shit. This movie. The acting. The graphics and effects! Next level, I tell you. Gosh, I think it is relatively on par with The Wrath of Paul Bunyan. Impressive as hell. These movies have a relatively simple recipe, they do. A big tragic accident gets witnessed/seen in a premonition, someone freaks out and saves some people, then people start dying in the order they are supposed to, the original freakee realises this and tries to save everyone. Unsuccessfully. Without fail. So while the movies are a rinse and repeat of one another, they are cheesy fun. Until this one, that is. This one is just so damn meh, I didn’t actually even watch it too closely, to be honest. It was also worsened by the fact that the graphics and effects were given front and centre stage, and they were nothing short of cringe worthy. Take a look at the poster. See how heavily they are marketing the 3D angle? Yes, so you can just imagine what it is that we got… the above gif is an example of some of the finer points of the sketchy effects. Ugh. I hated this movie. The acting was beyond godawful, the dialogue was next level dodgy, the characters were all immensely unlikable, the deaths weren’t even that creative, and this movie tried way too hard all the time, and it failed. Terribly. I really don’t know what else to say about this movie. It was bland, unimaginative, boring, terribly executed and stupid to boot. There was not saving it, not even normal bad horror logic, and it was unforgivable. Seriously, these movies could have just remained a trilogy, or could really just have been a single movie without a million sequels. But no, money was afoot, and the studios threw money into something that evidently failed. Horribly. Especially in the form of The Final Destination. This was just unacceptable. Over the past few weeks, it would seem that most of you wonderful readers are in agreement that this movie is the worst of the lot. Definitely followed by the fifth one. I think. Should we take a poll here to ascertain this? I think we should. Let me know what your favourite movie is in this franchise, I will post the results next week with the final one!