Review: The Fast and the Furious (2001)

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I’m free.”
– Dom

SYNOPSIS: Los Angeles police officer Brian O’Connor must decide where his loyalty really lies when he becomes enamored with the street racing world he has been sent undercover to destroy. – via IMDB

You know, this came out when I was a rugrat and it was extremely popular then, so naturally it is a movie I saw multiple times when I was like… 11/12. I liked it. Fast cars and family and all that. I’ve grown up a lot and can see where the flaws are, and there are issues in this movie, but it is a good action movie regardless.

The Fast and the Furious introduces us to characters that we will get close to and stick with for more than a decade, and it’s crazy because they don’t even get too intense about showing you everyone and what they are, but they give you enough. Paul Walker and Vin Diesel work really well together, and give the movie a lot of its charisma. Chad Lindberg as Jesse, of course, is a favourite, and I will always be so sad about how his story was concluded before it even really got started. I also really liked that there were more practical effects here as opposed to CGI, gives the movie a much more authentic feel.

The soundtrack though is something I am not a big fan of. It’s supposed to fit but actually comes off as feeling like it’s trying to be too cool, so seems forced. The story is also super generic, no matter how many fast cars they tried to layer it under and wrap it up in. Granted, we got all the tropes we could expect from it, though some were certainly handled better than others.

Anyway, The Fast and the Furious is the first chapter in a massive franchise, and it’s not a bad one. Nostalgia definitely tides me through, but a simple story and a short run time help. The acting is a little off sometimes and sections of this movie are dated and didn’t age well, but overall, as long as you don’t take it too seriously, you can have quite a bit of fun with this.

Review: The First Purge (2018)

“Please don’t tell me you’re sending mercenaries into the island disguised as purgers?”
– Dr Updale

SYNOPSIS: America’s third political party, the New Founding Fathers of America, comes to power and conducts an experiment: no laws for 12 hours on Staten Island. No one has to stay on the island, but $5,000 is given to anyone who does. – via IMDB

Sweet baby Jesus, this franchise is never gonna give up the ghost. There was The Purge, which was wasted potential because it was a home invasion movie with an interesting concept we didn’t really get to see. Then there was the Anarchy sequel, and I unexpectedly loved that one – we actually got to see the Purge, and I got all excited that the franchise was actually going to do something with itself. But no. Then there was that botch job that was Election Year, and I thought it couldn’t get worse. Well, it could. I also see that there is now a series on Amazon. Come on! Will this never end?!

Apparently not. So let’s tackle this one. It sucked. Plain and simple. It was predictable and it was awkward and it just… no. Like wheeling and dealing with politics with absolutely no finesse, giving us characters we don’t give a crap about, generating more idiotic sequences than you can shake a stick at, not to mention that the psychological angle of this was completely and utterly ignored, which in conjunction with the politics had the potential to deliver a much better punch. But no, let’s not do that.

The pacing was off, too, because while the movie doesn’t necessarily boast a long run time, it feels like forever and six days long, and just didn’t feel like it was coming to a close at all, or moving along. It was so frustrating, and that adds to the litany of issues I have with it. I wanted to see so much more than this. I mean let’s face it, this franchise has been milking the concept because it is one that has fascinated viewers, but hasn’t really fleshed anything out. It strives to from time to time but falls short. It’s just coming across as a cash cow.

So no, I was not a big fan of this one and feel that this was an interesting concept, I mean the first  Purge, and how it came about, and instead of spending some time exploring the psychological aspect and truly delving into the politics, we get this half-assed offering from a tired franchise that churned out exactly one good movie. My recommendation? Skip it.

Sporadic Scene: The Fate of the Furious (2017) – Haka

Goodness, this scene! When it opened with Dwayne Johnson giving the lecture, I was like “oh, I am sure this is just gonna be some scene with some kids for the lols”,  but man, it was so much more than just that. Manis and pedis for everyone after, sure, but man, this scene is fantastic all round. Dwayne Johnson leads a girls soccer team in the haka and it is truly both hilarious to boot and at the same time rather inspiring, as you can see it means a lot to him and the girls take it seriously. It is more than just a choreographed skit, especially when you see how much respect was actually afforded the scene, that the haka was blessed by the elders, everything. That’s just great, in my mind.

Rapid Review: Final Destination 5 (2011)

“You were supposed to die on that bridge. You’re not supposed to be here. You shorted death. So you let death have somebody else in your place, and you take their spot in the realm of the living. All the days and years that they have yet to live. And they take your place in death. Then the books are balanced.”
– William Bludworth

SYNOPSIS: Survivors of a suspension-bridge collapse learn there’s no way you can cheat Death. – via IMDB

This was the only film in the franchise I had not seen up until the gory marathon I had recently, so I didn’t really know what to expect. While much better than the last hunk of junk in this franchise, there is still a lot wrong with this one. But, it really is am improvement, forgettable at the end of it all, but better. It returns back to the fun aspect, and manages to weave some silly romance through it, too. At least it didn’t linger on this too long, but it did for long enough to get a bit annoying at times. The acting is a massive improvement over the last film, that’s for sure, and it looked better, though the effects are still not great, and still trying to hard to sell that 3D thing (check the gif above). I did enjoy the bridge collapse at the beginning, while heavily edited and not as good as the plane crash or the highway pileup, it is relatively impressive and gory, and such weird deaths, too. The movie follows the same formula as all the other movies before it, coming in with someone foretelling a crazy accident, warning others, saving some, and then the survivors start dying, and then everyone is trying to find a way to cheat Death again. It works. It’s just been done a million times, so it starts getting annoying. Bludworth is such a consistent character, and I like how he is always being brought back. Final Destination 5 finds yet another potential way for the victims to fight Death and attempt to win their lives back, but it is not something that is a light decision to make for a simple solution. What I really did enjoy about this movie is how it successfully tied the entire franchise together neatly and cleanly, and did not feel like some rushed cop out, or some cheesy way to make a buck. It came full circle and handled that much better than most movie franchises, so I would like to give credit where it is due. Yeah, I don’t really have much more to say on this, so I think that will be it. Final Destination 5 is an alright watch and a decent entry into this series, that was doing mostly fine until The Final Destination came into play, but managed to close on a stronger note. These movies are worth checking out at some stage, and make awesome movie night material with friends/other halves, because there is just to much to rip off, have fun with, and laugh at. Definitely a return to form, and one I did not see coming.

As for the poll results of last week, we have the movies of this franchise ranked as follows:

1. Final Destination (2000) – it would seem the original reigns supreme
2. Final Destination 2 (2003)
3. Final Destination 5 (2011)
4. Final Destination 3 (2006)
5. The Final Destination (2009)

So it would seem that last week’s pile of crap film is the least liked. Thanks for those who dropped by to vote!