Review: Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

“Two classes of people? What, the “will be eaten” and the “won’t be eaten”?”
– Buck

SYNOPSIS:  Set a few days after the original, a championship basketball team’s bus is attacked by The Creeper, the winged, flesh-eating terror, on the last day of his 23-day feeding frenzy. – via IMDB

Alrighty peeps, so I am back with the next instalment of this series. Well, where Jeepers Creepers gave us a flawed but entertaining horror, its successor just… misses the mark, and widely. There is just so much more wrong with this than the first, and unlike the first, we don’t even really get that entertainment factor, either.

This movie is also where they started messing with the monster, good ol’ Jeepers. I mean, we all had questions in the first one – the most glaring for me being the fact that this dude hibernates for 23 years and then gets 23 days to feed. In those 23 days every 23 years, he has somehow managed to:

• Learn to drive
• Procure a car he can stash for 23 years (and it still runs just fine and remains undiscovered until he returns)
• Somewhere cough up a vanity plate for said car
• Manufacture weapons
• Preserve the bodies and build a creepy Sistine Chapel type deal (that is also never found)

Like, I have a lot of issues, but those pop up super quickly and without much thought. The Creeper is also less… scary in this one? Like the first it was all about the hunt, about the terror. Like crazy hunting. This one he toys with his victims? Winking and smiling and what the hell? He also suddenly has a barrage of weapons at his disposal? We never saw those! There are also a lot of dodgy looking scenes in this one, and the characters are just freaking awful. The least offensive characters are the avenging dad and his dutiful son, and the outcast kid that people fear for potentially being gay. But then you get the high school students. They all freaking sucked, especially that douche nugget Scott. I was actually kinda thrilled when his racist, abusive ass got hauled off by the Creeper.

It was nice to see Justin Long in a few scenes though, and I can appreciate the movies trying to keep up some form of continuity, having this happen a few days after the first, although I can’t recall whether the first let us know how far into his 23 day spree he was.

Anyway, Jeepers Creepers 2 is not a great movie. It is not the worst, but the flaws are glaring and obvious in this one, and it lacks the campy charm of the first. Still not a bad movie for a cheap flick movie night, so I guess it scores some points there.

Review: Jeepers Creepers (2001)

“You know the part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates them for it? This is it.”
– Trish

SYNOPSIS: A brother and sister driving home through isolated countryside for spring break encounter a flesh-eating creature which is in the midst of its ritualistic eating spree. – via IMDB

I remember this movie being a pretty big deal when it came out and I was a rugrat. I remember I watched the crap out of it, too. I remember watching it a few years back and thinking that there were a hell of a lot of issues with it, and there are a lot of silly logic issues with it. I didn’t enjoy it very much. Then I felt like watching this the other day and I enjoyed it… if you can find it in you to not look at those things a touch too closely, you might be in for a relatively decent horror.

That could also just be because I get nostalgic when watching this, I don’t know. There are flaws to be found here, sure, but that is most movies, and a problem that especially plagues horror movies. There is also a lot of fun to be had with this, too, if you let yourself have it. Justin Long is quite entertaining here, and manages to hold his own in a lead role. The characters make a lot of super stupid decisions, but are also quite aware of their shortcomings, too. I just need to reiterate how stupid these characters are, and the things that they do defy logic, but I suppose it would be a totally bland story if they saw him dumping bodies, called the cops, went home, and heard no more. That doesn’t sell movie tickets.

The monster, too, is icky. He’s a weird one, and is kak creepy in his truck and his duster, but the effect is somewhat ruined when you get to see too much of him. At least the movie doesn’t insist on this. But seriously, initially out in the country and being chased by a crazy trucks, one you later see the occupant of dumping bodies and then hunting you down? It works so well. Gets a little deliberate after that, but it’s okay. It’s a crazy ride. There are a lot of things that remained unanswered when watching this, and things that aren’t really addressed. The characters are not overly complex, neither is the story, it just wants to give us some screaming college kids running (unsuccessfully) for their lives, and it works for some light popcorn entertainment.

Overall, Jeepers Creepers might be flawed, but it is also a fun horror to watch. It’s a quick one, too, and doesn’t overstay its run time, and has a very high school horror night feel going for it, which is great. Sometimes that is all you want. If you aren’t looking for horror movie classics, this should be entertaining enough for you. If you can overlook how ridiculously stupid it can be. I guess that’s what makes for the love/hate relationship one can have with this movie.

Rapid Review: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

“You know what you get for being a hero? Nothin’. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, attaboy. You get divorced. Your wife can’t remember your last name. Your kids don’t want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid, nobody wants to be that guy.”
– John McClane

SYNOPSIS: John McClane and a young hacker join forces to take down master cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel in Washington D.C. – via IMDB

This one was actually much better than I thought it was going to be. It was also smarter than I expected, but it had some immense flaws. However, and I am about to get crucified for this I am sure, this is the best sequel I have seen of the lot. It was quite modern, and Bruce Willis manages to entertain us, even having moved along in the years. I maintain, McClane has the most ungrateful brats, really. I mean I know he must have screwed up and he is a bit cuckoo and all that, but he has always tried to do his best for his family, though it evidently didn’t work well. Though it would seem that is par for course for law enforcement. Anyway, even Justin Long wasn’t too bad here, and I didn’t feel like rolling my eyes whenever he got on screen. Mary Elizabeth Winstead had her moments where you could just tell she was totally McClane’s daughter. Watching everyone panic about the world economy crashing was quite interesting, too, because I cannot think that that would be a fun day ever. Timothy Olyphant’s Thomas Gabriel was also a more interesting villain, but fell short of the mark at times. The story was engaging and the action was exactly what you would expect from a Die Hard film – slightly ludicrous but quite gratifying. One particular scene involving a jet and a truck on the highway was too ridiculous, so I can’t really say I was willing to suspend belief that much, even though the entire plot is quite silly. The scene is question was just over the line for me. I think the biggest thing is turning your brain off when you are watching this, otherwise the nitpicking will completely ruin the viewing experience. Unless you are watching with someone you can rip the plotholes with, I think that could be fantastic. I don’t quite understand why this movie gets so much flak – it is fun, it is entertaining, the story isn’t bad, there are some solid performances here, and it looks good. This is certainly one that I would watch again sometime, though I am certainly in no hurry to do so.