JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

And it’s over! Can you believe it? I sure can’t! I had an absolute blast with this, thanks to everyone who stuck with us and read all we had to say about these movies and shared their two cents, you guys rock. However, biggest thank you to Eric for watching these with me and approaching this project with such gusto and fervour, it was awesome! But I gotta admit I’m real sad this is over ESC 😦


Anyhow, enough with the pleasantries, let’s move on to Into Darkness, which is my favourite of the whole lot. This movie was just awesome, and I have much love for Mr Cumberbatch (of course), and I think JJ Abrams was the perfect choice to handle the Star Trek reboot. So cool!

star trek into darkness poster

SYNOPSIS: When the crew of the Enterprise is called back home, they find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization has detonated the fleet and everything it stands for, leaving our world in a state of crisis. With a personal score to settle, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction. As our heroes are propelled into an epic chess game of life and death, love will be challenged, friendships will be torn apart, and sacrifices must be made for the only family Kirk has left: his crew. – via IMDB

For one, I know that Khan was always like the Big Bad and all that with the original crew and all, I just felt that the 1982 film missed it a little. All the potential for how hardcore Khan was supposed to be seemed a little… lost and underplayed. But never mind that. Benedict Cumberbatch. That is all I have to say. I mean can you even compare these two?!

khan vs khan

Alright then, moving on…

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star trek into darkness sassy spock

into darkness 03into darkness 04

benedict cumberbatch dancing khan

into darkness 05

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into darkness 06into darkness 07

heather langenkamp

into darkness 08into darkness 09into darkness 10

star trek scotty james t perfect hair

into darkness 11

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into darkness 12

benedict cumberbatch live long and prosper

into darkness 13into darkness 14


into darkness 15

benedict cumberbatch smile


into darkness 16

into darkness 17

star trek damn it man

into darkness 18

star trek scotty one day I have been off this ship

into darkness 19

star trek slow fall for the enterprise

into darkness 20

star trek spock because you are my friend

into darkness 21

star trek spock and khan

into darkness 22

Thanks to everyone who read our reviews, stuck with us and had a good time, read and commented, this was a fantastic project to undertake 🙂 Until next time then!

benedict cumberbatch goodbye

And just because he is ridiculously epic (and yummy, even though you think he looks like an alien, PSC) – aaaaaaaaaaand I just realised that I spend too much time at The IPC

benedict cumberbatch star trek


benedict cumberbatch yummy


benedict cumberbatch smile


I just want to say that today’s post is bittersweet. I think we’ve accomplished something great here and this has been a LOT of fun – so much fun that I am sad that it’s over. But I know we can move on to other things and still work together  but I just wanted to let you know how much fun I had watching these and talking to you about them all summer. It was GREAT!!! I put this little rendering together for you that if you ever wanted to think about us actually working together – in person – this is probably what it would look like. THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!


The Chop


JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek (2009)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Well shit… today is bittersweet as it’s my last day of hosting during the Star Trek Project…. 😦 We still have another week to go but… I sure have loved doing this!! Thank YOU so much, dearest JB!!! This has been GREAT!!! I mean that!!! Obviously today we focus on the reboot of the franchise that had fallen pretty far over the last few movies and we got what we desperately wanted – ACTION!! HUMOR!! EXCITEMENT!! This was totally fucking awesome and the best thing that could have possibly happened to this franchise, at least according to me. I thought the cast were all fantastic and there were even little throwbacks to the original series. ONE thing did kind of bother me a little though, and I’ll address it later but – this was all kinds of awesome! Let’s see what The JB has to say about it –

star trek 2009 movie poster

SYNOPSIS: On the day of James Kirk’s birth, his father dies on his ship in a last stand against a mysterious alien time-traveling vessel looking for Ambassador Spock, who, in this time, is also a child on Vulcan disdained by his neighbors for his half-human heritage. Twenty-five years later, Kirk has grown into a young troublemaker. Challenged by Captain Christopher Pike to realize his potential in Starfleet, he comes to annoy instructors like young Commander Spock. Suddenly, there is an emergency at Vulcan and the newly commissioned USS Enterprise is crewed with promising cadets like Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov and even Kirk himself, thanks to Leonard McCoy’s medical trickery. Together, this crew will have an adventure in the final frontier where the old legend is altered forever as a new version of it begins. – via IMDB

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Dammit, WordPress changing shit all over the show again, now I need to write this and deal with everything looking all weird again and such… meh. :/

I am totally with the Chop on this on: this is one of those rare occasions that the reboot is just fantastic on so many levels, a breath of fresh air, and came together incredibly well. I freaking love these movies, for so many reasons.

I thought the way the movie started was great – fantastic effects, a solid scene introducing us to Kirk’s past, and an amazing Romulan space ship coming out of a black hole, blowing up the Kelvin. Very cool. I also like how Chris Hemsworth played papa Kirk. It was quite a sad and brave thing he did to save the crew, his wife, and his child.

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Chris Pine really nailed the absolute cockiness of Jim Kirk, which was awesome. He was equal parts douche and honourable (in a strange, his morals kind of way). Well done on that front. I really liked that he didn’t necessarily recreate William Shatner, but that he did his own thing. I thoroughly enjoyed him.

star trek 2009 kirk

I was not always a fan of Anton Yelchin playing Chekov, though I do enjoy his work. Well, the more I watch it, the more he grows on me. I thought the casting overall was just spot on for these new movies. There is absolutely no way I was going to dispute Quinto as Spock – I love Spock, and I am a massive fan of Quinto. There was no ways that that was going to bomb. I honestly wish that he was in more stuff. He always impresses me, and I can listen to him talk for hours. That voice!

star trek 2009 chekov

There were so many funny scenes, too. The humour was absolutely awesome in this, and it is a blast of a  movie! I had plenty laugh out loud moments and giggling galore, which is awesome. This is not necessarily a comedy at all, but they managed to incorporate the elements into it super successfully. Like Karl Urban, being all McCoy and the initial shift from liking Spock to his eternal irritation with him. Simon Pegg is a pretty darn cool Scotty, and I was a fan of the friendship between him and Keenser. Very cool.

star trek spock humourstar trek bones are you out of your vulcan mind

Star Trek takes you through this epic journey of how the crew of the Enterprise come together under Kirk, and it’s worth it. Funny lines, great introductions for all the characters, ultimately it all comes together in the end, and it’s awesome. JJ Abrams just gets the sci-fi thing, and he did an outstanding job rebooting a franchise that was (yep) getting really tired. I am so sad that he won’t be doing the third one 😦 Well, I am terrified of more Star Wars, but let’s hope he can do that as successfully as he did this.

star trek spock and kirk

Anyway, there is so much that I can say about this movie. The most important? That I loved it. The effects astound me every time, the humour, the cast, the performances, the shenanigans they get up to, all of it. Sadly, the journey is damn near over, and I have been having immense amounts of fun with it. Thanks PSC! Last but not least, bestie, this is specially for you!

chris pine

the chop

Who hasn’t seen this?? We know about the rebootyness of it and the time travel and Chris Pine and Quinto and Pegg and Urban and this and that and this and that and Hemsworth and Tyler of all fucking people Perry and Saldana and Yeltin and Bana and face tattoos and the Beastie Boys and fuck all and I loved it. But I think the main thing to concentrate on here is the reboot of The Green Lady. I’m sure Brian and Luke used to get their BeatIt on back in the day or yesterday when the rerun played during lunch hour in the break room at work, but I was never a huge, horny fan. She never got me “astir in the hot box” so to speak. I was more into the ladies you can find HERE. I mean:


Even though she only has a small bit part, I think the modern version is an apt improvement (even though this isn’t the most flattering still):


I mean:






Or MMPH!!:




OOPS!! How did THAT get in there??? But, I really did like this movie and, being a lifelong Spock guy, I have to be honest and say that the only thing that bothered me with this is how Old Spock is in it. I mean, so Romulus is about to explode and, despite having legions of cadets and veterans in the UFP, they send 150 year old Spock to try and save the planet? That sounds like a dodgy call to me. But hey, this is Science Fiction, I reckon. Oh well – good stuff!



JB And The Chop Do: Star Trek VI – The Undiscovered Country (1991)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Well well well…. lookee here! JB has given me the reins once again to handle this post as this is…… my FAVORITE of the bunch!! I’m not a guy who cares if it’s the sixth movie of a franchise, or a reboot or a remake or any of that shit – I just want to like a movie if it’s GOOD. And I totally loved this one. This had it all, Klingons quoting Shakespeare,  a young Kim Catrall, Scotty busting through a sealed door, you name it! I loved it. This also has a quote that I say all the time “I’d pay good money for him to shut up” but – that’s usually when I’m talking about Brian. Anyway – let’s see what JB has to say about this one! SURELY she liked it as much as I did, right? RIGHT?????

star trek the undiscovered country

SYNOPSIS: After an explosion on their moon, the Klingons have an estimated 50 years before their ozone layer is completely depleted, and they all die. They have only one choice – to make peace with the Federation, which will mean an end to 70 years of conflict. Captain James T. Kirk and crew are called upon to help in the negotiations because of their “experience” with the Klingon race. Peace talks don’t quite go to plan, and eventually Kirk and McCoy are tried and convicted of assassination, and sent to Rura Penthe, a snowy hard-labor prison camp. Will they manage to escape? And will there ever be peace with the Klingons? – via IMDB

jb star trek

Can you believe it? HALFWAY through our Star Trek journey! WOOHOO! It has been most fun so far!

Well, this is the last one in way of the originals, which is sad. I much preferred these to the Next Generation lot, but oh well. I was a little sad that the last one just didn’t kick it for me on all the levels I would have hoped. Don’t misunderstand me, it isn’t a bad one, I just thought it had a lot of lull and places that got boring, which is a pity. Yes, shoot me now Chop, I’m sorry. 😦 Let me just get it out of the way and off my chest so that we can move past this and be friends again!

There were things that worked for it. Spock entertained me when he point blank refused to return home with the Enterprise, and as a Vulcan bent the truth a little to ensure that they had no other option but to stay nearby Kirk and Bones on trial. I laughed at how not everyone was so clued up on what he was doing, and the confusion, and his subtle but not really way of spelling it out for people. Scotty’s honesty about repair time on the Enterprise and his sudden burst of an inordinately long amount of time to repair nothing had me in stitches. Everyone was eventually spinning half truths to keep them out there, which was very good. The humour was very good here. Even Sulu got involved, and he wasn’t even on the Enterprise!

So obviously the dialogue and the humour was a winner for me here. The quotes from authors and all was also nice, brings things in a nice tie around for me, the past and  the future.

However, there was also the question of sketchy CGI. I am sure when this came out it was the bees knees and all that, I just found it to be highly distracting and ridiculous looking (here’s looking at all that floating blood). Also, the whole court thing had me squirming… it had moments of bright intelligence, and the majority was just crazy. Sounded like our useless South African courts. Pffffff. Also, the investigation on the Enterprise that Spock was conducting to exonerate his friends was a little stretched and silly at times, unfortunately.

I freaking loved Chekov’s Cinderella moment. It was pretty embarrassing, to be sure, considering how he delivered his accusation with such gusto.

star trek dax feet cinderella if the shoe fits
“Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it!” – Pavel Chekov

I suppose watching this is best if you see if for the characters, and don’t focus too much on all the other things going on. It just feels a little rushed (I mean it took forever to reach the Klingon assassination, and when that happened it started off good and then got a bit arb).I am sorry, I enjoyed this, I just didn’t love it as much as my Chop did :/

the chop

Well, this is it for The Original Crew CRY CRY CRY CRY!! And I do have to say they went out with quality. I mean – I know I went on about how much Wrath of Khan means to me but – for real – this is my favorite of the whole series. This has a lot of action and heart and some dark humor and Spock slaps someone. I totally LOVED this movie.

Also – I want to say: JB, I know we have some more of these to do but I wanted to thank you for doing this with me. I had a LOT  of fun this summer watching these things for this project – I really, really have. THANK YOU!

So – in the spirit of creativity, let’s do this up right and sing a song about it, to the tune of Summer Breeze by Seals and Croft!! Here’s the tune if you’re not familiar:

See Mr. Sulu rolling out as Captain
See a Klingon moon destroyyyyyyyed
See the Federation taking action
See our faithful crew deplooyyyyyyyed

Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Even if I’m trapped in a Klingon miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
No Uhura’s buns to see this tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

See Kim Catrall lookin sexy
That’s one Vulcan I’d so Pon Faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr
See Christian Slater do a cameo
What went wrong with that movie staaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr

Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Even if I’m trapped in a Klingon miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
No Uhura’s buns to see this tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

Poor Klingon baaaaaaaaaaaaaastards
The Chancellor’s dead
Kirk is to blaaaaaaaaaaame
They’ll have his head

Spock is a smart one
They’ll rescue Kirk good
They just need to find out
Who murdered that dude

Who saves the daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
It’s Kirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk to be sure
Even fat Scottyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Busts throuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh a locked door

Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Even if I’m trapped in a Klingon miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Star Trek 6! You make me feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
No Uhura’s buns to see this tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek V – The Final Frontier (1989)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Good morning,

Here I am again, writing the intro for this wretched thing. Well – I guess it’s not WRETCHED but it’s not any good. I think everyone was kind of getting too big for their britches after the success of the previous three movies and it showed here. I mean , Kirk climbing El Capitan bare handed??? Uhura nude??? Suddenly Spock has a brother??? GOD???? PUHLEASE. Much like I imagine the emissions that would come from Spock’s anus after he ate those beans McCoy made with whiskey, this one was basically a fart that lingered. Not my favorite. How did I end up with all of the odd ones, JB???? HUH??? HUH??? HUH????????? o_O

star trek the final frontier poster1

SYNOPSIS: When the newly-christened starship Enterprise’s shakedown cruise goes poorly, Captain Kirk and crew put it into Spacedock for repairs. But an urgent mission interrupts their Earth-bound shore leave. A renegade Vulcan named Sybok has taken three consuls hostage on the planet Nimbus III, an event which also attracts the attention of a Klingon captain who wants to make a name for himself. Sybok’s ragtag army captures the Enterprise and takes it on a journey to the center of the galaxy in search of the Supreme Being. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well, whatever happened here I knew it wasn’t going to be great. I knew that this one was all about the “search for God” and all that, and that doesn’t even really faze me in the least, but this was just a mess. There were so many places that something great could have been done, but instead it wasn’t. What a damn loss this was! Completely and utterly, and this after the immense amounts of (stupid) fun that was The Voyage Home.

Here were something that had the potential to win me over on so many levels but didn’t:

the final frontier sybok nazgul

It should totally have been more like this:

the lord of the rings black riders nazgul

I mean whoop! But instead: dismount Sybok, and the damnation of the film is nigh. I suppose I might also just be having severe Lord of the Rings withdrawals… oh well…

Then, of course, there was the incredible epiphany I reached when looking too closely at the mount – another place that was just weird, and not in the good way:

final frontier sybok unicorn horse

Another thing, I just really, really didn’t like what was cracking with Spock in this one. It got grating and annoying and it got that way quickly. Also, I don’t know if I missed something with Scotty and Uhura, but luckily that doesn’t bug me too much.

What I did like, though, was the way that Scotty didn’t give a damn if they were meeting with God or not, or making history or not. He had one job, one passion: the Enterprise. His consistency is amazing.

Anyhow, The Final Frontier was just lame and bland and silly, and it really could have gone a whole other way. For example, if you look at what Bones did to his father, that scene had all the potential to have a much larger impact. Instead, nothing. There were funny bits, though, such as Sulu and Chekov vacationing and getting lost, faking a blizzard to Uhura. I mean really? Also, Spock’s desire for logic, and Bones’s desperate desire to see Spock just be normal.

I was a pretty big fan of Scotty busting Kirk, Spock, and a very grumpy Bones out of the brig. The morse code? The yelling? All of it worked rather well together.

Also, Kirk confessing the fact he would die alone and that coming up again later should have resonated far, far more than it did, and it just didn’t, unfortunately. Well, not much more to say on this, except that it dragged, then rushed, then just failed at the end of it all. Moving along!

PS: Chop! It’s not like I forced it or anything like that… it’s just… you got the short straw I suppose…

the chop


For today’s post, I thought I’d approach this a little differently….

PS: Today’s Star Trek post is a day early because, coming tomorrow, something special will be hosted over on The IPC and it requires centre stage and the spotlight! Keep your eyes peeled! 

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home (1986)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

I wonder how many people enjoyed The Voyage Home? Surely a handful of you did…? Well, Eric The Chop of The IPC and I get into The Voyage Home, and have quite an amount of views to share on it! Read on to find out more.

star trek the voyage home poster

SYNOPSIS: James Kirk who after rescuing Mr. Spock and bringing him to Vulcan where he is fully restored, is now the most hated man in the universe, because he disobeyed his superiors and killed a Klingon crew and took their ship. After three months on Vulcan, Kirk decides to return to Earth to face the consequences of his actions along with his crew who aided him. Also accompanying them is Mr. Spock, who is still trying to understand his human side. What they don’t know is that an alien probe approaches Earth and is emitting a signal that nullifies all power systems. And it is now vaporizing the planet’s oceans covering the planet in a cloud that covers the earth cutting them off from the sun – the planet’s main source of energy. The President of the Federation sends a transmission telling everyone about what is happening and to stay away from earth. Kirk upon hearing it, checks out the probe’s transmission and Spock postulates that the alien is not hostile merely unaware that it’s … – via IMDB

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Well, fourth outing here for the franchise, and this one took my by complete surprise the first time I saw it. Don’t get me wrong, it is totally, completely 80s, but it is also endlessly entertaining. The Voyage Home boasts one of the weakest plots ever, but it makes it work, no matter what. There was so much tongue-in-cheek humour, and it was done pretty well. There is no other way to look at this movie aside from fun, and it resonates that all the way through.

There were just so many scenes that had me in stitches. I figured I would just pick a  few and lay them out here. Spock’s use and understanding of “the hell”, the 60s being the LDS era (that actually happened), and then one of my personal favourite gems, Scotty coming across a computer from the 80s are just some of the bizarre and amusing scenes we come across. Scottty and the PC must have been extremely difficult to adapt to. Besides that, they looked like total idiots coming in there, though it was soon shown they are ridiculously smart. However, no matter how smart, this does not instill faith (Bones looks way too proud of Scotty):

scotty h ello computer

Sulu also had me laughing what with the Huey he went to get for the master plan of getting plexiglas into the Vulcan renamed HMS Bounty (again, Bones is the best). It suited him though, even though it left rippling effects when attempting to fly the spacecraft back out.

sulu huey

Kirk’s reaction to seeing Spock in the humpback whale tank communicating with them is freaking priceless.

kirk horrified

Also, Pavlov Chekov asking for the location of nuclear vessels, as a Russian, was most likely not his smartest move.

nuclear wessels

Leonard “Bones” McCoy is just a favourite of mine: brusque, smart, rude and fast, he always gets me. But his reaction to going back to the 20th century, back to primitive medication and treatments, that got me. His usual grouchy self showed more compassion, but not once did his sheer indignation go unnoticed. It also showcases his knowledge in the area, something we don’t always get to have a look at.

bones 1bones2bones3bones4bones5bones6

Evidently I am a fan of this movie. It is cheesy, it is lame, it is amusing, and it just works on so many levels. I always enjoy watching this one, and I would recommend you check it out if you haven’t, or rewatch if you have. It’s a great way to put a stupid, goofy smile on your face! Anyway, enough about this all. I’m going to end my two cents with this gem:

scotty there be whales here


the chop

Here we are again with an even numbered release and I am pretty sure this thing made some good money – I wouldn’t say this is the best in the franchise but I will say one thing – this thing is fucking LOL funny! And it means to be – I think the first three films came out as they were – with people dying and they were all serious – but this one is different. Bones goes around “God Damning” everything and, since they go back in time to the 80s, Kirk has to revert to using the vernacular of the time.


But since they’re all from the future, no one knows what any of that means so when Spock tries to use “the hell” – as in “What the hell?” it’s an absolute crack up.


Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell “your” whales.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told you that.
Spock: The hell they did.
Punk on bus: [Playing loud music on the bus]
Kirk: Excuse me.
Punk on bus: [He ignores him]
Kirk: Excuse me. Would you mind stopping that noise?
Punk on bus: [He turns it up louder]
Kirk: [louder and firmer] Excuse me! Would you mind stopping that damn noise?
Punk on bus: [He flips him off]
Kirk: [He looks at Spock]
Spock: [He gives the punk the Vulcan neck-pinch, followed by the delighted applause of the grateful bus passengers]
Kirk: Spock, where the hell’s the power you promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: [at Spock] No, Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes, I love Italian…
[looks at Spock]
Kirk: And so do you.
Spock: Yes.


I’m sure JB has entertained this morning with the plot and such so I won’t go into it down here but I will say that this movie is fun to watch. All of the characters get their own pieces of work instead of the main focus only being on Kirk and Spock, which was well done. You do have to be careful though – it’s VERY 80s. Also – I’m not sure why this pulled up during my Google search for “Star Trek 4” images but:


And let’s not even mention this:


All in all I think this is a fun movie that’s worth a re-watch if it’s been since the theaters when you saw it last.

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan (1982)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

The Chop and I return, yet again, to delve into the world that is Star Trek, to foray into another film, new territory, and see what comes from it. This is the second installment to the Stark Trek film franchise, and certainly one of the more loved ones. Without further ado, I am going to step aside so that we can chat about The Wrath of Khan in more detail.

star trek wrath of khan poster

SYNOPSIS: It is the 23rd century. Admiral James T. Kirk is feeling old; the prospect of accompanying his old ship, the USS Enterprise – now a Starfleet Academy training ship–on a two-week cadet cruise is not making him feel any younger. But the training cruise becomes a deadly serious mission when his nemesis Khan Noonien Singh–genetic conqueror from late 20th century Earth–appears after years of exile. He begins capturing Project Genesis, a device holding the power of creation itself, and schemes the utter destruction of Kirk. – via IMDB

jb star trek

So I watched this for the second time, and only the second time ever. The first time that I watched this, I really didn’t know what the hell was really cracking, and I wasn’t a fan of it. I followed the story, I figured out what was going on, but it still just didn’t work for me. Hence I have never been a fan. Then The Chop and I decided to do a Star Trek run, and guess what? I would have to be watching this one again.

I asked Eric to fill me in more about the background of this, seeing as I have never watched the show, so I don’t have a history of what to look for, or why this would be cool, etc. I know that The Wrath of Khan is one of the more popular films. Luckily for me, my request was obliged. I made myself some freaking delicious chilli (recipe courtesy of Mr Isaacs, too – just check it out) and vegged out on the couch, testing these waters again. I thought it was all appropriate.

chilli con carne
Hmmmmmmm. SCRUMPTIOUS. Hot. Yummy. I just have to share this, I was so proud of it, and first attempt, too!

The movie was… much better the second time around, and with a little more backing from Eric (this is totally his forté). I was not so lost and confused, and I was far more focused. The one thing The Wrath of Khan did better than The Motion Picture was to cut out some of those ridiculously long and meandering shots. When I saw Kirk rolling up to the Enterprise again with Sulu and company, I was terrified it would be another twenty minutes of panning. Luckily this was certainly not the case, and everything rolled forwards smoothly enough.

Looking at the supporting cast, I will always enjoy George Takei as Hikaru Sulu, and DeForest Kelley remains my favourite character as Leonard “Bones” McCoy, extremely entertaining. James Doohan’s portrayal of Montgomery Scott is also fantastic, and I think he is adorable, I really enjoy watching him. This cast works well together, too, always a bonus. The effects weren’t terrible for the time, either. I must say that I was not a particularly huge fan of Ricardo Montalbán’s Khan… he was just a little… meh. Bland. Boring. If you listen to the things the other people say about him and all, you really expect someone more than the person you get. Also, what the hell is up with their outfits?! And the hair?!

khan and company

But anyways, I am sure that the costume designers thought that they were on a roll. Moving right along from that ghastly fashion statement. I find myself always laughing at Bones and Spock when they are “communicating” with each other, which is simply a nice way of saying they are permanently sniping at each other. For our amusement, of course.

The hell, things got real serious real fast there. 😦 Oh well, it is one of those scenes that actually resonate with you, and flesh a few things out, throwing some serious perspective on things. Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner pulled this together well, and I was glad that the movie wrapped up rather quickly when all was said and done, lingering would have just drawn it out. Spock’s demise was incredibly sad, and his funeral was something to see. Amazing Grace seems to be the send off song for the ages…

the chop


*spoilers I suppose*

For this – I want to get something off my chest. I’ve seen this movie 100s of times – the first time in the theater and I bawled my eyes out when Spock died. One of my old bosses at one of my old jobs once said to me (because I had a picture of Spock on my wall at work) “I’ve never met anyone like you, Isaacs. Most kids grow up wanting to be Kirk – I’ve never met anyone who wanted to be Spock.” Well, I did and it’s true and there it is. But the most important thing that this movie brings to me when I watch it is that my old roommate and I watched this dozens and dozens and dozens of times in the years we lived together. There’s a quote from this movie and when he was dying in that hospital bed I whispered it to him and I think he actually acknowledged it before he died during the night.

Now I don’t want to get too mushy on my JB’s blog because we’re out here to have a good time but I just wanted to say that we’ll meet again the next time around and we’ll hang with The Swede again and tear some fucking shit up like we did this last time and I fucking loved you man. You were a true friend. Remember that time I sneezed and a booger went in my Scotch but I drank it anyway? Remember that time you shit your pants on the way back from Sonic and then ran through the apartment in your shitty jeans and I projectile vomited everywhere? Man – we fucked some shit up didn’t we??


The Great Montana Jumping Spider


Well – now that that shit’s out of the way, let’s look at The Wrath of Khan, shall we?? I’m sure the lovely SB has gone into the particulars of the movie by now so let’s have a look at a couple of things I noticed this last go around, now that I have the savvy ability to make my own screen grabs….


I’m not really sure if this is an accident or not but just look at the “EXIT” sign! That’s not very 23rd Century looking is it. You’d think that the United Federation of Planets would have been able to pony up a few Simolians for some fancier displays, huh? And, strangely, that’s actually the ENTRANCE to the Kobayashi Maru Testing Simulator…. Also – Is Kirk gassy?????


Upon arriving on the Enterprise for inspection, I see we’re getting away from the Dagwood Bumstead uniforms from the last one but we’re still “One Button” friendly in the costume department…. Also – Sulu sure looks happy over there on the side…. I wonder what he’s thinking about….?


Does anyone remember when Kirstie Alley was a hot piece of ass? I mean, I still think she’s pretty good lookin’ but she use to be smokin’! “Meow Pussycat” indeed!

Also – how hard is it to fuck up a fucking chicken sandwich??????


Lastly – the other day some broads on twitter were going off about how they didn’t cry during some woman’s movie about cancer something or other and calling themselves Cold Hearted Bitches or something and, you know what?? I cry EVERY TIME I see this:


When Kirk comes up and sees Spock all crouched over in the corner about to die – it breaks my heart. There’s also something very important in this scene that you may or may not know about (I wish I knew how to do gifs). When Spock hears Kirk call for him, he stands up and tugs on his shirt, pulling it into place. That’s a reference to the original TV series. They barely had any budget for costumes and most of their shirts didn’t fit so when members of the cast would stand up during shooting, they would have to pull their shirts into place so they didn’t show their belly buttons (or their beer guts). When Zachary Quinto Spock first stands up in the chamber room in the reboot I fucking cried little tears of joy, that made me SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!

The Chop might not be able to wrangle the gif, but here's the tug!
ED: Here’s the scene, Chop!

Well – I guess I better go – my mom is emailing me that she just got Text Messaging on her phone and I need to go help her figure it out : )

See Ya!


JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek – The Motion Picture (1979)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Ladies and gentleman, today I am proud to present the latest project hosted by the beloved Eric of The IPC and myself: Star Trek! The Chop and I are going to go through twelve films, reverting back to you with our reviews on the experience in a great double feature, and we truly hope that you guys have fun. Enjoy it! So far this has been a blast (for me, anyway), and we hope that this comes together, sharing the experience with you. Right, I think it is high time I stop waffling and move on for what you guys came here for: Star Trek: The Motion Picture!

star trek the motion picture

SYNOPSIS: An alien phenomenon of unprecedented size and power is approaching Earth, destroying everything in its path. The only starship in range is the USS Enterprise – still in drydock after a major overhaul. As Captain Willard Decker readies his ship and his crew to face this menace, Admiral James T. Kirk arrives with orders to take command of the Enterprise and intercept the intruder. But it has been three years since Kirk last commanded the Enterprise on its historic five year mission… is he up to the task of saving the Earth? – via IMDB

jb star trek

Alrighty folks, so now you are hopefully clued up… I think. If not, that’s also okay. I will be the first to admit that I had never seen any of the Star Trek films until last year sometime, when I decided to try it. Still in the truth phase, I was one of those idiots that had never seen Star Trek and believed firmly it was either Star Wars or Star Trek, none of this middle ground stuff. Well, then I pulled my head up and decided I would like to look into them (mainly because I don’t like being uninformed, and mostly because the new ones looked really good and I prefer watching things when I am familiar with the history). I borrowed them from a colleague and got cracking.

One thing that this film probably could have seriously benefited from was those extremely long and dwindling shots being cut down a bit. I mean Kirk’s arrival at the Enterprise took a damn century… because they spent all that time panning around it. It takes so long you eventually forget what it is that you are looking out for, then it comes back. The same applies for when the Enterprise got to V’Ger. Dammit man, hurry it along! Aside from that heckle, the rest is minor. It starts like this:

star trek the motion picture waxing lyricalstar trek the motion picture enterprise

Then, just as you think it is over (you are lulled into this false sense of security because all sorts of other stuff happens in between, including a bald alien probe), you get more glory shots:

star tek motion picture more panning

Moving along from the eyeful of Enterprise that I was graced with, I enjoy the cast (bear in mind I have never watched the series, either – sorry my PSC), and the effects were not dreadful for their time. The story was also pretty decent. Decker was a pain in my toe, though I could understand why he did the things he did.

star trek motion picture crew

I was so happy when Spock cut his damned hair after he left Vulcan and before he joined Kirk and Co on the Enterprise. He looked ludicrous before that. It also seems that the Klingons are forever destined to be ugly as hell. I was truly not a fan of the costumes in this show, they were just not cool. They were bland and boring – much prefer the outfits that come in from Wrath of Khan and onwards. What I did like about this movie was the score, it worked quite well.

Hmmmm, I don’t really know what else to say… if you have seen this movie, you will know that it was probably not the greatest entry of all time, but it was alright. It was overly long for what it was, and a lot could have been scaled back. I think this was a great way to bring Star Trek over to more people than just those who watched the show. For instance, the movies are just right for me, but I think that the series might just bring me to my knees. Who knows, maybe one day I will check it out? This is worth the watch, definitely. While this was certainly no Star Wars Original Trilogy or anything like that, I had a good time with it.

the chop

Helloooooooooooo Earthlings!! Greetings!! Salutations!! Farts!!

I’m sure my Precious JB has given you the scoop on what this is about, so I probably don’t need to go into that. I mean – unless you’re one of those people who only saw Star Wars and go around pissing about how it’s better than Trek – well – you know who you are… but if you’re even remotely a fan, you’ve seen this one. As a LIFE LONG Trek fan, of course I went to see this in the theater when I was a kid and – yep – I thought it was a long and boring piece of crap. It was the only movie my Grandma Jackson ever took me too.  Oh and yep – I was once named Chris Jackson until my dad adopted me and changed my name.

Anyway, seeing as how The Wrath of Khan is one of my favorite movies ever, I had never revisited this until the other day and…………. I actually kind of liked it. I think people who rate this low (like I once would have) probably have bad memory of it from when they were kids (like me) but I was actually pretty entertained this time around. And, since I’m sure my Fondest JB has given you the skinny on the plot and such, let me address a couple of things I saw in here.

After commandeering the Enterprise from the hands of Captain Decker (grooooooooooooooan), Kirk calls an assembly of the entire crew of the ship to explain what’s going on. So….. who the fuck is THIS GUY?????

(You can click on any image throughout this series to make them larger)


Did the writers write him in? Did the director (who also did The Sound of Music) decide during production “HMMMMM, let’s throw in a random Butt looking alien for fun.” HMMMM… Also to note that in the following picture from the assembly, Butt Alien does not appear to be in attendance but there is THIS guy:

STTMPbMore to come of Forehead Guy in a bit. As the meeting continues, we do have another potential Butt Alien sighting:


but also a random… Andorian???


Regardless, I do wonder what happened to the Federation Star Fleet colors? Red, Blue, Yellow? Where did they go?? That’s a real big deal to some people. And not to dog on my favorite franchise, but what’s up with these fucking uniforms??? Where they going for the Dagwood Bumstead look or something????


Oh well, I guess. So Kirk and the crew head off to confront the Giant Space Cloud thing and shit starts to get real and the Enterprise is rocking to and fro and WHAT????


Forehead Guy is on the bridge???????? He’s THAT fucking important????? OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAWWWDDDDDD


Well – there we have it. THANKS JB for working with me on this!!!! WHOOOOOP!!!!!!

Good stuff!!!!