Rapid Review: X-Men: Apocalypse

x men apocalupse poster

“Everything they’ve built will fall! And from the ashes of their world, we’ll build a better one!”
– Apocalypse

SYNOPSIS: With the emergence of the world’s first mutant, Apocalypse, the X-Men must unite to defeat his extinction level plan. – via IMDB

x men apocalypse not all of us can control our powers

GRADE 7Yes! I finally went to see this. My husband wasn’t thrilled (he loves going to the cinema), but he knew it is one of the few superhero movies I will insist on seeing in the cinema. Screw that, any new movie in this franchise will have me tripping out, no matter how many installments. I know, it sounds mad. I think the reviews have been unjustly harsh towards X-Men: Apocalypse, though it is by no means a perfect movie. It definitely doesn’t have the wow factor of Days of Future Past, and the plot is a little messy (okay, maybe a dash more than a little), and there were some holes, and the pacing was a bit off. The villain, Apocalypse, was also quite disappointing in the long run. As much as I like Oscar Isaac, this was really not good. There was so much more that could have been done with this character! His rising and the X-Men battling him was so rushed and quick, his true power and danger is never really realised, which is a pity. Besides that, the cast is, as is to be expected, excellent. McAvoy is a fantastic Charles, and Fassbender, of course, delivers as the tortured Erik. I wish that the two of them had been given more screen time, if I am being honest, but I loved them when they were there. Also, Nicholas Hoult could have done with more screen time, too. Okay, I think one of the large flaws of the film is that there are a ton of characters, and none are really done any real justice. Evan Peters returns and owns as Quicksilver, which I loved. I must say though, his hit scene from DOFP was recreated here, and as entertaining as it was, it wasn’t perfect like the last one, and didn’t thrill me as much. It also felt squished in, like it was expected. Fun, but a little off. Sophie Turner really impressed me as Jean Grey (and trust me, this was something I was extremely leery about), and Tye Sheridan’s Scott Summers didn’t manage to peeve me endlessly, which in and of itself is a feat. Last but not least, I want to talk about how awesome Kodi Smit-McPhee’s Nightcrawler is. I was so stoked to see the Nightcrawler return, and to see him get such a large role was fantastic. Happy as can be! Look, he is no Alan Cumming, but he was still wonderful, and I am hoping to see more of him in future movies. Also, a young Storm? Yay! Yes, I had a total ball with all these things. I actually think this film is going to appeal more to people who love the X-Men franchise, and not necessarily newcomers. That being said, I enjoyed the story, but didn’t love it, it was flawed, but a fun film, the effects were good, but there were issues, but I would definitely recommend it for a watch. I really am such a fan of going back to see how the X-Men formed, how the relationships were, how everything was before, and I really think a great job is being done with that. I am going to stop now, before this review gets excessively long.

Rapid Review: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

captain america civil war poster

“I know we’re not perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”
– Steve Rogers

SYNOPSIS: After another incident involving the Avengers results in collateral damage, political pressure mounts to install a system of accountability, headed by a governing body to oversee and direct the team. The new status quo fractures the Avengers, resulting in two camps, one led by Steve Rogers and his desire for the Avengers to remain free to defend humanity without government interference, and the other following Tony Stark’s surprising decision to support government oversight and accountability. – via IMDB

captain america civil war

I would also just like to take a moment to appreciate the raw power of this moment.

captain america civil war helicopter

Well. Well. Where do I even begin? Let’s start with the fact that this movie really shouldn’t have been flown under the Captain America banner – it could really have just been Civil War or even Marvel/Avengers: Civil War. This was essentially an Avengers movie, and you all know how huge a fan I am of that. So it shorts Thor and The Hulk, but they were mentioned a ton of times. I don’t know, I wanted a Captain America movie. He is my favourite Avenger, he is the only one who has individual movies I get excited about and adore, and then we got this one, so heavily reliant on Age of Ultron and all that happened there, and it was all about signing off on a document to regulate the Avengers team. Seriously. So they called it Captain America: Civil War because there was some extra Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier?

However, that being said, there was so much scrumptious Sebastian Stan for me. Oh hell yeah there was, hmmmm. I really liked the themes that were explored in the film, like friendship, opposing opinions, loyalty, standing up for what you believe in, conforming, moral responsibility, etc. The performances were all solid, though I really feel that this movie was juggling way too many characters, but still managed to do a relatively decent job with them all. I enjoyed the introduction of the Black Panther, and I freaking love the moves on this guy, so fluid and awesome. Marvel has again let us down on the villain, Baron Zemo. After The Winter Soldier, I was expecting darker, more hardcore villains. Zemo was underutilised here, and didn’t pack as much punch as he could have had he been set up better. I never felt shock and horror at any of the things that he did.

captain america civil war tony bucky steve fight

Steve finally kissing Sharon was a little rushed and out of place in the movie, it wasn’t properly set up (in this film), and then it was glossed over. The fighting sequences were great to look at, and the Russo’s really grasp that – that choreography, the movements, all of it is just amazing. The inclusion of Steve’s “I can do this all day” is another scene that thrilled me, it is something I expect from him. There were some interesting plot developments here, some of particular interest being carried by the Winter Soldier, which is great. Anyway, with too many characters to really talk too much about, Captain America: Civil War is an entertaining Avengers flick with more heart to it than the average Avengers film, solid performances, darker, a good movie, some solid humour and well worth watching.

So. Much. Delicious. Bucky.

captain america bucky barnescaptain america bucky and tony big fightcaptain america civil war winter soldier tony2captain america buckycaptain america bucky civil war

This totally sums up Captain America: Civil War.

captain america civil war avengers

Rapid Review: Super (2010)

super cover

“You don’t butt in line! You don’t sell drugs! You don’t molest little children! You don’t profit on the misery of others! The rules were set a long time ago. They don’t change.”
– Frank D’Arbo

SYNOPSIS: After his wife falls under the influence of a drug dealer, an everyday guy transforms himself into Crimson Bolt, a superhero with the best intentions, but lacking in heroic skills. – via IMDB


GRADE 6So I checked this out because Eric absolutely loved it, and it looked interesting. Let me tell you, this is totally not what I expected it to be. At all. Dark comedy for sure, but the biggest thing that comes from this is real sadness, loneliness and desperation. I felt so freaking sorry for Frank. Everything about him was just pitiable, and Rainn Wilson did a great job in bringing his character to life. Kevin Bacon was a serious asshat, icky! Then, of course, there is Liv Tyler, post screwing up her totally beautiful face. Ellen Page, too, is a character that is pretty cool until she puts on her costume. It’s like she totally freaks out, and I didn’t like it. Overly sexualised, manic, stupid, I could not bear her character by the end of it, which is quite disappointing. Not to mention one absolutely disgusting forcible scene that comes up towards the end – it did not sit well with me at all. Anyway, this story starts and it is already sad, injects some strange bits of humour in here, but it didn’t always work for me (and I am a big fan of a dark comedy), and it keeps going, sad, depressing, lonely. Those words are truly the three words to describe Frank and his existence. Nathan Fillion pops up from time to time as the incredibly ridiculous Holy Avenger, and the little TV stints he and the “students” had cracked me up – Fillion is always up for the crazy. Let’s not even forget to mention that Rob Zombie voiced God. That was awesome. I think the best thing about this film was the cast, hands down. The story was good, albeit a little silly, but I liked it. I enjoyed that everything was not perfect for The Crimson Bolt – he looked absurd, his crime fighting took forever to take off, when it did it was legitimately violent (like some fry cook literally going out and busting up dealers, totally the thing you could picture if someone did take this on), and his partnership building with Boltie was just so strange. It looks like I have had a lot to say about this, but I actually haven’t really had anything to say about it. It is dark, it is strange, it is weird, it isn’t bad, it is something you are certainly going to have to check out in order to make up your own mind about it.

Superheroes Hockey Team: Ten Stars or Less

It thrills me to be able to host such an entertaining post today! Ryan from Ten Stars or Less put together an extremely elaborate but exceptionally fun post on how he would construct his dream ice hockey team – consisting of characters from superhero movies! Let me tell you, not a team I would want to go head to head with without having equal grounds to stand on! His original post can be found here.


June 4 marked the beginning of the Stanley Cup Finals between the New York Rangers and the Los Angeles Kings. My Boston Bruins have been eliminated since the second round but I will still be watching until the final buzzer and the Cup has been raised.

Most of you do not know that I work at a skate sharpening store. I have been employed full-time in an ice rink since 2003 and actually moved from the north-east United States to western Canada to continue my employment in the hockey industry. Hockey has been a part of my life since I was a little kid and continues to take up my time when I’m not at the movie theatre or sitting at home watching movies.

I just spent the last few weeks watching a lot of super hero movies like Captain America, Iron Man, and X-Men. I have written a lot of movie reviews and felt it was time to do something creative for a change and take a break from writing the same thing over and over. I began to brainstorm how powerful a hockey team would be if it was made up of superheroes, I created my first line with my favourite characters and then was determined to fill out a whole team including management positions. I ran out of characters so I asked friends and co-workers who gave me a bunch of suggestions. The only rule was that characters had to have had  a major movie release to be allowed on this team. This narrowed the list down a bunch but I managed to find twenty skaters and five management positions. I am confident in my selections that this team could challenge any team in the history of hockey and win the Stanley Cup.

Starting Goalie: Spider – Man

Spider-Man gets the nod to start in-goal because my original selection, Batman, was moved to a different position. I wanted the Dark Knight to star in between the pipes because of his line “I’m not wearing hockey pads,” but my boss suggested Spider-Man because of his flexibility and quick reflexes. He’s already wearing his goalie mask and his ability to spin spider webs will make it almost impossible to score on the net if it covered in webbing.


Back-Up Goalie:

Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff

The Black Widow is the only female to crack the line up for three reasons, she is extremely flexible, she can kick anyone’s ass, and her beauty will distract the opponents from hitting the net.


Team Superheroes First Line

There is no question in my mind that my first line is made up of some greatest superheroes in the universe(s). I put this line together right off and it has never changed. Each player is a star in their own right and most hockey first lines are made up of the team’s best players whose main goal is just to score goals and make fans go crazy.

Defence Pairing: Hulk & Beast

My top defensive pairing consists of two heavyweights that opponents will fear once they cross the blue line. Both players have the ability to play in their human form and their monster mode. Once the opposition attempts to score on my team their anger will get the best of them and they will transform into bad ass creatures who will clobber everyone in sight.



Centre: Iron Man

Iron Man is a star, both in real life and in a suit. He craves attention and is a showboat whenever he has the opportunity to shine. He is the ultimate superstar that has to be the poster boy of the team. As my star centre he will play all the top minutes and score lots of goals which will make him the highest paid superhero on my team.


Left Wing: Captain America

Captain America is one of the few good guys in the superhero universe and who is not selfish at all. I need him on my top line feeding passes over to Iron Man and Magneto to score goals. I did question whether or not he should play goalie because he could use his shield as a blocker but he is not build like Spider-Man or Black Widow and I could use his speed and strength on the top line assisting his line mates to get into the zone. His abilities to stay calm and be a leader in tough situations make him the perfect Captain of my team. (It was also a fitting choice since he is already named Captain)


Right Wing:

Eric Lensherr/Young Magneto

Eric Lensherr is a perfect winger on the top line because of his ability to bend medal, he can skate or fly down the ice and bend the goal posts of our opponents giving us a bigger net to score goals in. He also has a bad ass looking helmet which he can use to his advantage when he’s laying other guys out with body checks to make space for Iron Man and Captain America to play their game.


Team Superheroes Second Line

This is where I started to make tough decisions and I changed the players on this line a half-dozen times in order to find the right pieces to provide secondary scoring to my top line. My original second line was Quicksilver, Superman, and Iceman but they don’t appear to have great chemistry together so I split them up and put together a line of superheroes who can fly. Everyone on this line has a cape with the exception of Iron Patriot, but he can be my stay at home defenceman that protects his end of the ice while his line mates can focus on scoring goals.

Defence Pairing: Iron Patriot & Thor

Iron Patriot has all the tools needed to be a great defenceman and prevent opponents from getting anywhere near our net. He suit makes opponents fear battling for loose pucks in the corner because he’s going to plant you hard into or through the boards and then pass the puck up to one of our high flyer forwards. His partner Thor will also lay a beating down on opponents who get by our forwards and enter our zone. He is one of the strongest superheroes who doesn’t even need a hockey stick, he shoots the puck with his hammer. I also wanted to note that he has the hardest slap shot in the universe.



Centre: Batman

Batman was going to originally be on my fourth line after being cut as my goalie. I wanted him out there to win face-offs and provide energy for our team and the fans when he was manhandling the other team’s fourth line. Instead I moved him up because he is Batman. He will provide our team with additional scoring along with his line mates who will literally fly up and down the ice. The great thing about having Batman on the team is that he is continuously coming up with new hockey equipment that provides our players an edge over our competition.(He is also working on a Batmobile looking Zamboni that will clean the ice in less time)

The Dark Knight Rises

Left Wing: Loki

The brilliant Loki was originally on my third line but he got bumped up because he has a cape, the ability to change his appearance, and he has one kick-ass Chitauri Scepter which he can use as a stick. He also has the speed and agility to play top six minutes without breaking a sweat.


Right Wing: Superman

There is going to be a few of you who question why I got the Man of Steel on the second line as a forward instead of playing defence. My logic is simple; his speed and his ability to dissect the game make him a great player for this line. He has the potential to be the Wayne Gretzky of the superhero universe because Gretzky thought the game at a higher level than anyone else ever did. Superman’s will be able to foresee the play unfold and be in the right place at the right time to score goals or set his teammates up. He is also rugged enough to provide toughness to the line because Loki is weak winger and Batman does have weaknesses. He can protect our stars while they focus on playing their roles.


Team Superheroes Third Line

In hockey the third line’s role is usually to be the “checking line” which means they always play against the opponent’s top line and prevents them from scoring. My original line was filled with bad guys and my plan was to call them “da bad guys” but I moved Loki off the line to use his skills somewhere else. The original line featured The Thing, Bane, Loki, The Winter Solider, and The Joker, but here was my final decision.

Defence Pairing: Bane & Colossus

Bane was on my third line from the very beginning, he is one of the strongest bad guys out there and despite not having any real super powers, he is one guy I need out on the ice to protect my net. Anyone who skates down the wing will run head first into his chiseled body and get laid out. His mask is very intimidating which I hope will strike fear into opponent’s top players. Colossus on the other hand was a last second decision and addition. I never thought of him and had The Thing as Bane’s partner even though I’m not a Fantastic Four fan. A buddy of mine suggested Colossus so this morning I made the switch. Colossus kicked a lot of ass in Days of Future Past and his ability to turn to a statue that is almost indestructible will be a distraction for opponents allowing for Bane to swoop in and take them out.



Centre: The Joker

The Joker is the perfect anti-hero. His main goal on the third line will be to prevent the opposition from scoring which means he can use any trick to trip them up. He has no superhero abilities like Bane, but Joker will probably take the most penalties and get the most suspensions on the team because of his attitude and reckless playing style. I have no doubt that he will harm more players than anyone else on the roster, it’s what he does best.


Right Wing: The Winter Soldier

Ice hockey is a winter sport so I’d be pretty stupid to not include The Winter Soldier. He has a metal arm which gives him superior upper body strength and his quickness will be an asset against other teams top guys. His appearance and half covered face will hopefully strike fears in their hearts and minds throwing them off their game.


Third Line Left Wing: Iceman

Like his line mate The Winter Soldier, Iceman was a late addition to the team because of his ability to deal with all things ice related. Sure his powers don’t really come in handy at the ice rink, because everyone should be experienced skaters at this point of their careers, but he is young, quick, and has the ability to excel when sliding on ice. He makes sense to have on the team and in a forward position based on his powers and abilities.


Team Superheroes Fourth Line

The role of the fourth line guys is to play every now and then, go out bang some bodies, create some excitement and score an occasional goal. I know most of you will be like why on earth are these three players on the your fourth line when they would all be on my top lines. Let me remind you when you create an all-star super team like they do at the Olympics, a lot of great players end up on the fourth line and their roles are a little bit different then a regular fourth line player. These three guys on my fourth line don’t really deserve to be this far down the depth chart but I got no room for them anywhere else.

Centre: Quicksilver

Quicksilver joined the team on Saturday when I was bugging friends to suggest more characters to me. Sadly this is the best picture I could find of him online since he is a brand new character in a movie just released two weeks ago. I totally forget about him and his abilities but added him to the line up. My buddy suggested since he is lightning fast he needed to be on my second line but that would have messed up the chemistry there, so I finally found him a home here. His main role will be to win faceoffs (quickest hands in the game) and then fly around the ice to get the fans excited.


Right Wing: Wolverine

Now hear me out before you judge me about Wolverine being a fourth line winger. He really can’t hold a hockey stick because every time he gets angry he pops his claws out which rip through his gloves and get in the way of his stick handling abilities. His main role is to be the muscle out there for his line mates. No opponents fourth line will want to hop over the boards when they see the bearded warrior skating up and the ice with claws. He is by far one of the best shot blockers in the game because he doesn’t feel a thing after taking one for the team.


Left Wing: Hawkeye

Hawkeye was a last-minute addition to the team to help me fill out my roster. I chose him over everyone else because of his quick eyes, hands, and shooting accuracy. He has the ability to put the arrows wherever he aims so my hope is that skill will transfer out on the ice surface where he can pick goalies apart and provide the majority of the scoring for his line. Wolverine will make time and space for him while Quicksilver can steal pucks and passes to feed them to my teams most accurate shooter.


Team Superheroes Team Management

No superhero team would be complete without the smartest minds in the game making decisions that affect the team both on the ice and in the dressing room. These people were chosen for their leadership abilities more than their abilities to battle and get involved in the action.

Head Coach: Professor Charles Xavier

One of the brightest minds in any superhero universe, Professor Xavier is the right man behind the bench to guide this team to the championship. His telekinesis powers will allow him to motivate each player on a personal level by expressing his thoughts mentally, he can give a roaring pre-game speech without yelling or screaming at anyone. His abilities will allow him to communicate the style of play he wishes to deploy while also changing the mind of the bad guys on the team so they can buy into the system without disrupting the other’s chemistry.


General Manager: Nick Fury

Nick Fury is one bad ass dude who is the Director of SHIELD. He was put in that position based on abilities to plan and execute orders. He would make a great general manager because he won’t take any crap from the players and is strong enough to pull off a trade or sign a super hero without listening to the flack from other players or the media. His disability made it tough for him to contribute on the ice, but he does enjoy his SHIELD office job which will make him a perfect fit in the press box watching every game.


Trainer: Catwoman

Anne Hathaway is by far the sexiest Catwoman ever to appear on-screen and although she didn’t make the team as a player, she can still be a contributing member of the team. She was chosen as the trainer of the team because in the event of an injury I’m sure none of the players would complain if they were on her trainer’s table in the dressing room getting treatment or a massage.


Team Equipment Manager: Robin

At the end of the day I was trying to fill out other hockey team positions when my boss suggested Robin. I said I had no place for him as a player but he would make the perfect equipment manager. He has no superhero abilities but is always there to land a helping hand. He is quick on his feet, always thinking ahead, and will be there to take care of the players when something breaks or needs repair.


Team Skate Sharpener: Cyclops

After naming Robin to be my equipment manager we were joking about making Superman our skate sharpener because of his laser eyes. That got me thinking that Cyclops would be the perfect fit. His laser abilities will allow him to sharpen the ice skates by just looking at them and providing our players with the best edge on their skates in the universe.


Superheroes/villains who didn’t make the cut

I mentioned a few names that didn’t make the team because of line chemistry or that I didn’t like their character. There are a few more names my friends mentioned that were original members of the team but were then cut in favor of other players. The Thing was originally a second line defenceman, Falcon was a fourth line winger, Dr. Manhattan was also on the fourth line, and Vwas the anti-hero on my third line. I’m sorry these guys were cut but I went with this line up to challenge for the Stanley Cup because I think it is the best possible line up.

There are several other characters out there in the universe that many of you will question why they didn’t make the team like The Flash. He hasn’t had a movie made yet so he was ineligible. Some of you will also question why The Green Lantern wasn’t on the team considering he was played by a Canadian who can probably play great hockey, but his movie sucked so I honestly didn’t want to consider him.

In closing I want to thank you for taking the time to read, laugh, and get mad at my superheroes hockey team. I look forward to many comments and replies as to how you may have structured your own team based on my characters or your own. Just remember the one simple rule I used, in order to be eligible for the team they must have appeared in a major motion picture.