JB & The Chop Do: Scream 2 (1997)

“A year after running over a fisherman and dumping his body in the water, four friends reconvene when Julie receives a frightening letter telling her that their crime was seen. While pursuing who he thinks is responsible for the letter, Barry is run over by a man with a meat hook. The bloodletting only increases from there, as the killer with the hook continues to stalk Julie, Helen and Ray.”

Oh wait…. WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH????

SYNOPSIS: Two years after the first series of murders, a new psychopath dons the Ghostface costume and a new string of killings begins. – via IMDB

For The Good Reader / Zutsonian with a keen eye (it seems paying attention these days is something a lot of people aren’t fond of) the team-up for the first Scream we put out was drafted over two years ago. Since then, I have spent over a year in a foreign land, living in a hotel and eating shit food until a few months ago when things started calming down and I was able to get a laptop back in action. Note: I am NOT fucking patient or OCD free enough to try and do posts on a tablet or phone. Anyway, since time is still precious, my entry here will probably be written in two parts before it goes live, so here’s Part One.

“A guy can’t even take a fucking piss….” that’s actually a quote from Angel Heart (maybe not [sic]) and it may or may not apply here but, I thought it was laughable that these two fellows were off pissing in their ROBES and MASKS setting up the first kill.

1. As a male, normally, you have to be able to handle the thing that releases the pee – which is why the Benevolent Creator (as it is, whatever you believe in) allowed humans to invent the slit in the front of the pants or, at least, a tie string so we can drop them and let go #zippers
2. The male human has to be able to see the thing that releases the pee in order to aim or else you fucking piss all over the floor and, likely, your fucking feet. Despite the fact that these people can somehow see through the ‘ghostface’ masks and run around all over the place, they probably really can’t and just befouled the floor and their shoes
3.  True story that no one will get: about 25 years ago I was at a St Patrick’s Day event at a local bar and went to piss. If you’re not familiar with urinals, you should educate yourself but I was having a good, solid, beer infused whizz, looked over and a popular sports celebrity was peeing next to me. I smiled, stabilized my drunken self, and I noticed was peeing all over his leg. #fuckingclassy #calegundy

Watching this, It’s not so fucking 90s as I remember the first one being but it’s weird seeing a bunch of these folks so young and skinny. I’m a huge fan of Ray Donovan (Liev Schreiber), Timothy Olyphant (you name it), Portia de Rossi (married to Ellen DeGeneres) (or was, that could have changed since I paid attention) but what I thought was the most funny thing, Rebecca Gayheart… I remember when I was a kid, having the hots for her in her OxyClean or Noxzema face cleaning ointment commercials. That picture, while digital, is probably older than JB.

Up next: Part 2:

Speaking of Timothy Olyphant, I see he’s wearing some sort of shirt and has a visible sleeveless undershirt on underneath it. I’ve never understood this. My lifelong understanding of wearing an undershirt was to prevent your armpit sweat from showing or staining your good shirt you have on to impress people. What’s the fucking point of not covering your armpits? Why wear two sets of shirts for no reason. I guess, if these things aren’t popular overseas, here’s what I’m talking about:

Jeez, nice thighs, man. The movie? I think I liked it more than the first. I liked the new cast better and it was “less 90s”. Plus there was some Foo Fighters in there. You can’t go wrong with a little Foo. It was basically the same story as the first, with more blood – which is something they talk about early on in “Film Study”. Now let’s pass the mic over to JB. Oh, since I know JB loves GIFs, I better include one.

Sequels aren’t usually that good, we all know that. It is a topic that this sequel harps on about, and it is  actually successful. For one, I still had an absolute blast with this movie, how conscious it is of the type of film it is, how it mocks and taunts again, even after having done all those things. Scream 2 manages to pull it off. Hell, it even has a (really) brief glimpse of Joshua Jackson in it, so there aren’t complaints for me – except maybe that it could have been more Joshua Jackson????? I need eye candy too!

Screw it, I will provide my own… just the one, I swear…

Anyway, let’s get to the movie. Super big fan of having Dewey back, and watching him argue and snipe at Gale is adorable. Seriously, I absolutely love watching these two together. It is sweet and it is seriously funny, too! David Arquette and Courtney Cox have fantastic chemistry. Sidney Prescott is back and kicking some major ass again, not to mention Gale laying down the law, too. There are a lot of throwbacks to the first movie here, but it all works. Scream 2 knows what it is and apologetically rolls with it.

Now, on to… *drum roll*

THE UNFORGIVABLE DEATH OF RANDY MEEKS

This! Fuck! Why?! This still rankles. I get why it would happen (do I really???). Doesn’t mean I gotta like it. And I don’t. I hatessssss it!

In Randy’s words, “Fuuuuuuuuuck yoooooou.”

Gale develops quite a bit more in this one, which is good. She’s still a bitch, but Gale is fantastic. Cotton Weary plays a bigger role in this one, but I still don’t like the damn creep. Icky, icky, icky.

We get tons of blood, tons of fun, tons of chases and tension and games, and plenty to quote. I thoroughly enjoy the humour in Scream, it just gels with me. In short, Scream 2 delivers everything you could want from a sequel.

Okay, this is the last one. I swear.

Rapid Review: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

“You know what you get for being a hero? Nothin’. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, attaboy. You get divorced. Your wife can’t remember your last name. Your kids don’t want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid, nobody wants to be that guy.”
– John McClane

SYNOPSIS: John McClane and a young hacker join forces to take down master cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel in Washington D.C. – via IMDB

This one was actually much better than I thought it was going to be. It was also smarter than I expected, but it had some immense flaws. However, and I am about to get crucified for this I am sure, this is the best sequel I have seen of the lot. It was quite modern, and Bruce Willis manages to entertain us, even having moved along in the years. I maintain, McClane has the most ungrateful brats, really. I mean I know he must have screwed up and he is a bit cuckoo and all that, but he has always tried to do his best for his family, though it evidently didn’t work well. Though it would seem that is par for course for law enforcement. Anyway, even Justin Long wasn’t too bad here, and I didn’t feel like rolling my eyes whenever he got on screen. Mary Elizabeth Winstead had her moments where you could just tell she was totally McClane’s daughter. Watching everyone panic about the world economy crashing was quite interesting, too, because I cannot think that that would be a fun day ever. Timothy Olyphant’s Thomas Gabriel was also a more interesting villain, but fell short of the mark at times. The story was engaging and the action was exactly what you would expect from a Die Hard film – slightly ludicrous but quite gratifying. One particular scene involving a jet and a truck on the highway was too ridiculous, so I can’t really say I was willing to suspend belief that much, even though the entire plot is quite silly. The scene is question was just over the line for me. I think the biggest thing is turning your brain off when you are watching this, otherwise the nitpicking will completely ruin the viewing experience. Unless you are watching with someone you can rip the plotholes with, I think that could be fantastic. I don’t quite understand why this movie gets so much flak – it is fun, it is entertaining, the story isn’t bad, there are some solid performances here, and it looks good. This is certainly one that I would watch again sometime, though I am certainly in no hurry to do so.

Review: Scream 2 (1997)

SYNOPSIS: Two years after the first series of murders, a new psychopath dons the Ghostface costume and a new string of killings begins. – via IMDB

Sequels aren’t usually that good, we all know that. It is a topic that this sequel harps on about, and it is pretty successful. For one, I still had an absolute blast with this movie, how conscious it was of the type of film it was (once again), how it mocked and taunted (again), yet did all those things anyway. Scream 2 managed to pull it off, but I had no doubt that it would, and no, not just because I had seen it a million times before. Hell, it even had a (really) brief glimpse of Joshua Jackson in it, so there weren’t complaints for me. Personally, I would have liked to have seen more of that.

The opening is one of those that have stuck with people for years after all was said and done, whether you remember the rest of the movie or not, we all remember the brutal toilet stall slaying of Phil and the screaming theatre death of Maureen.

I was so happy to see Dewey again, I think he is such an adorable idiot, and David Arquette was perfectly cast to play him. He is truly a favourite of mine, and watching him and Courteney Cox together was great, they just worked. Dewey’s fury with Gale and her book was a point of incredible entertainment for me, he was so childish about it all, yet still so infatuated with her.

There was no shock in the reveal (hopefully nobody was expecting there would be), and though there were more murders in this one, they were not as meticulously planned as the first one, and also much less phone calls. I miss the phone calls. They were something I truly enjoyed about Scream. I think one thing that really fell flat in this movie was Ghostface… not quite what I was hoping for, and it was a little bit jarring, too. It wasn’t as smooth as it could have been, though not a complete waste.

The back and forth between the characters was as sharp, smart and fast as always, so nothing has really changed there. Sidney is still hanging in there, our reluctant heroine who is surrounded by wonderful people. I felt so sorry for Randy, perpetually stuck in the dreaded friendzone. Sidney is a wonderful character to carry the Scream franchise because she isn’t too much or too little, she never takes over and is never forgotten, and that is something that so many horrors can mess up. The main characters from this franchise all have their time to shine.

Gale kicks some serious ass. I love this woman. She is a shark and a super  mean bitch but she is hardcore, and she doesn’t take much crap from anyone. Sometimes she is just too harsh for some, and her lack of morals really is a bit rough at times, but she is someone that I really like.

Then something that happened in this movie that I am sure many fans are still horrified about. (Highlight text to view – SPOILER if you haven’t seen this yet). Killing Randy Meeks?! After all that we have been through with him, after all the lessons that he taught us! The only main character to be popped. Ugh. Why?! Craven, how did you think that was alright?! What the ever-loving hell was the meaning of that? 

 

I adored how Scream 2 starts up, and you are thinking they are going to do something different and you are missing all the characters you came to love, and slowly but surely they start creeping through the cracks. It really is something to witness them all coming together again to battle Ghostface, again, though it cannot possibly be the delicious Billy Loomis.

Overall, Scream 2 is buckets of fun, while not as brilliant as its predecessor, it is a strong sequel with plenty of laughs, blood and gore – everything I am looking for in a film. Definitely worth the watch.