JB & The Chop Do: Freddy’s Dead – The Final Nightmare (1991)

a nightmare on elm street2

After this there’s three more of these things (which I’ve seen by now) and, in my opinion, this is the absolute WORST of them all. The plot is reachy, suddenly there’s a mystery daughter – how fucking convenient – this kills are stupid and, although people outside of the U.S. or were babies around 1990 might not know them, Tom and Roseanne Arnold are in this fucking thing. The plot to this thing revolves around how there are no more teenagers (or kids) in Fred Krueger’s home town so he’s going to move on to another town “because every town has an Elm Street” and to do this he need’s to use his daughter that’s never been referenced in the series. Oh yeah – and someone almost gets killed with a fucking road map for Christ’s sake.

freddy krueger nightmare on elm street 6 freddy's dead the final nightmare poster

SYNOPSIS: In part six of the Nightmare on Elm Street series, dream monster Freddy Krueger has finally killed all the children of his hometown, and seeks to escape its confines to hunt fresh prey. To this end, he recruits the aid of his (previously unmentioned) daughter. However, she discovers the demonic origin of her father’s powers and meets Dad head-on in a final showdown (originally presented in 3-D). via – IMDB.

The chop

I really did go into this open minded – hoping it would be better than the last one, hoping they had learned from their mistakes over the declining last three movies, so I popped it in and started watching it and then this happened:

NMEST6a

And it NEVER got any better. 90’s hairdos, 90’s clothing, 90’s music, 90’s shit attempts at humor – this was worse than my social life in 1990 which usually involved my friend and I driving around the city drinking beer and listening to Guns n Roses. After that piss poor Wizard of Oz thing, this just got worse as we met the stoner and the punk and the beleaguered counselor with the big heart and the big shoulder pads in her blazer. They all fall asleep in three seconds no matter where they are and they all have bad dreams so they go to Springwood and someone gets stoned and immediately falls into R.E.M. sleep and this happens:

NMEST6bNMEST6gNMEST6f

I mean…… REALLY???? What a fucking reach…… I was TOTALLY put out with that and then this happens:

NMEST6c

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! And then this happened:

NMEST6e

Not only did I have to see Breckin Meyer’s face but just look at that hairdo. Eventually Fred’s daughter determines that she has to enter her dad’s brain to extract him to the real world so they can kill him. And this happens:

NMEST6d

during that 3D sequence I really had just had it with this shit. I thought it was absolutely awful and just a pitiful shit on the original. BUT – because I am an honest guy – I did think the montage over the credits was pretty cool but that’s IT.

JB??

JB

Ugh. Ugh. I don’t have much to say for this movie besides that. It was absolutely ridiculous on so many levels and had a stupid story to boot, as well, as if things weren’t bad enough. Ugh.

There’s not really much that I can speak positively about in this one. I really didn’t like the soundtrack (it was atrocious), the plot progression was all over the show, Freddy was cringe-worthy embarrassing at times, and the acting was atrocious. I am so not a fan of this one. Naturally, there was going to be the worst of the worst in the canon somewhere, and let me just tell you, that was this one for me. I know that a lot of you complain about A Nightmare On Elm Street 2, but I have no idea how this one has ever been considered better than that one. Ugh.

freddy's dead kung fu this bitch

The effects were also terrible, and I didn’t have any laughs going for me anywhere, either. There was a Johnny Depp cameo laced in here (that Chop put up top) and I know he hated it, but it was one of the few things that I appreciated, though it is a pity that the Depp cameo was wasted on this hunk of junk.

freddy's dead the awful effectsfreddy's dead some more bad effects

Then let’s not even talk about how this movie went to end. That whole showdown? My goodness! You would really have thought them delving more into who and what Freddy was when growing up would have been so much more interesting, but instead it was just another opportunity that was pissed away here. The concept of Freddy having a kid running around somewhere was one thing, and it could have been something, but it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. Plus the logic was (again) flawed in here because everyone seemed to work out the whole Freddy thing freaking fast, and bought into the story quickly.

nightmare on elm street freddy's dead

Anyway, the one character I liked (Carlos) was killed off pretty early (obviously) because that is how the franchise works. The sad thing though is that there was inordinate amounts of potential to make his death mean something, to resonate (if that makes sense). Deaf and most likely that way due to extreme abuse, Freddy just takes his hearing and then gives him super hearing and then chases him like an idiot and then moves on. Seriously, more potential pissed away.

freddy's dead

The movie had a relative amount of serious subject matter to deal with (I am referring here specifically to the abuse the kids suffered, the fact that they are in care, etc), and instead of working with this, making a horror that could crawl under your skin, it almost dealt with the subject matter like mockery. I am not saying I wanted something super heavy or anything, but this had abused kids up the wazoo scattered throughout it and just laughed it off basically. Besides the fact that I would have expected more from such “damaged” kids, they were just meh characters, not nearly as strong or badass as they had the potential to be.

freddy's dead no respect

Freddy loves being a bus driver. Just saying. Anyway, I cannot reiterate enough what a pile of crap this movie was and a total waste of time. I love Freddy Krueger, I do, and I was prepared to deal with some of the other cheesy entries, but this one for me just took it too far, too lame, too ridiculous. Meh. But hey, Robert Englund is still Freddy Krueger here, the big issues have yet to set in 😛

freddy's dead loves buses

Plus, here’s Eric’s favourite:

freddy's dead every town has an elm street1

The map doesn’t lie. Seriously. I should have heeded the warning.

freddy's dead you're fucked map