JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek V – The Final Frontier (1989)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Good morning,

Here I am again, writing the intro for this wretched thing. Well – I guess it’s not WRETCHED but it’s not any good. I think everyone was kind of getting too big for their britches after the success of the previous three movies and it showed here. I mean , Kirk climbing El Capitan bare handed??? Uhura nude??? Suddenly Spock has a brother??? GOD???? PUHLEASE. Much like I imagine the emissions that would come from Spock’s anus after he ate those beans McCoy made with whiskey, this one was basically a fart that lingered. Not my favorite. How did I end up with all of the odd ones, JB???? HUH??? HUH??? HUH????????? o_O

star trek the final frontier poster1

SYNOPSIS: When the newly-christened starship Enterprise’s shakedown cruise goes poorly, Captain Kirk and crew put it into Spacedock for repairs. But an urgent mission interrupts their Earth-bound shore leave. A renegade Vulcan named Sybok has taken three consuls hostage on the planet Nimbus III, an event which also attracts the attention of a Klingon captain who wants to make a name for himself. Sybok’s ragtag army captures the Enterprise and takes it on a journey to the center of the galaxy in search of the Supreme Being. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well, whatever happened here I knew it wasn’t going to be great. I knew that this one was all about the “search for God” and all that, and that doesn’t even really faze me in the least, but this was just a mess. There were so many places that something great could have been done, but instead it wasn’t. What a damn loss this was! Completely and utterly, and this after the immense amounts of (stupid) fun that was The Voyage Home.

Here were something that had the potential to win me over on so many levels but didn’t:

the final frontier sybok nazgul

It should totally have been more like this:

the lord of the rings black riders nazgul

I mean whoop! But instead: dismount Sybok, and the damnation of the film is nigh. I suppose I might also just be having severe Lord of the Rings withdrawals… oh well…

Then, of course, there was the incredible epiphany I reached when looking too closely at the mount – another place that was just weird, and not in the good way:

final frontier sybok unicorn horse

Another thing, I just really, really didn’t like what was cracking with Spock in this one. It got grating and annoying and it got that way quickly. Also, I don’t know if I missed something with Scotty and Uhura, but luckily that doesn’t bug me too much.

What I did like, though, was the way that Scotty didn’t give a damn if they were meeting with God or not, or making history or not. He had one job, one passion: the Enterprise. His consistency is amazing.

Anyhow, The Final Frontier was just lame and bland and silly, and it really could have gone a whole other way. For example, if you look at what Bones did to his father, that scene had all the potential to have a much larger impact. Instead, nothing. There were funny bits, though, such as Sulu and Chekov vacationing and getting lost, faking a blizzard to Uhura. I mean really? Also, Spock’s desire for logic, and Bones’s desperate desire to see Spock just be normal.

I was a pretty big fan of Scotty busting Kirk, Spock, and a very grumpy Bones out of the brig. The morse code? The yelling? All of it worked rather well together.

Also, Kirk confessing the fact he would die alone and that coming up again later should have resonated far, far more than it did, and it just didn’t, unfortunately. Well, not much more to say on this, except that it dragged, then rushed, then just failed at the end of it all. Moving along!

PS: Chop! It’s not like I forced it or anything like that… it’s just… you got the short straw I suppose…

the chop

 

For today’s post, I thought I’d approach this a little differently….


PS: Today’s Star Trek post is a day early because, coming tomorrow, something special will be hosted over on The IPC and it requires centre stage and the spotlight! Keep your eyes peeled! 


Rapid Review: Godzilla (2014)

godzilla 2014 poster

“Nature has an order. A power to restore balance. I believe he is that power.”
Dr. Ichiro Serizawa

SYNOPSIS: In 1999, the Janjira nuclear plant was mysteriously destroyed with most hands lost including supervisor Joe Brody’s colleague and wife, Sandra. Years later, Joe’s son, Ford, a US Navy ordnance disposal officer, must go to Japan to help his estranged father who obsessively searches for the truth of the incident. In doing so, father and son discover the disaster’s secret cause on the wreck’s very grounds. This enables them to witness the reawakening of a terrible threat to all of Humanity, which is made all the worse with a second secret revival elsewhere. Against this cataclysm, the only hope for the world may be Godzilla, but the challenge for the King of the Monsters will be great even as Humanity struggles to understand the destructive ally they have. – via IMDB

This accurately sums up how I felt during this entire movie:

FINALLY. That’s what it feels like when you finally get to see the big dude!

GRADE 4Gotta say that this was a movie I was really excited about. I watched the trailers, and I was like hell yeah, bring Godzilla back to us! I mean really, that was awesome. Then the film came and I was in the middle of exams and could only pick one film to watch in between it all, so obviously X-Men: Days of Future Past won out, that I was way more amped for. Anyway, the reviews started coming back and they were looking a little disappointing, but I wanted to watch it anyway. I read recently that a sequel has been okayed, and was like damn, I might have to get to this one. Eventually I did. To give you an example of what happened: I spent the next two hours continually waking my other half up, who was peeved that the movie was such a disappointment, and I lamented that for a movie called Godzilla, there was awful little of the Big G in it… well, at least Andrew of Cultured Left Peg entertained me endlessly. I am so glad that I did not waste study time and my hard earned money on this crap. The human component of this film was excruciatingly boring. I cannot believe the trailers marketed this movie with a lot of Bryan Cranston, so here I got all excited about that. Guess what? They ripped that joy away from me within the first thirty minutes, too. Now there was an hour and a half left to watch no Godzilla and the terribly wooden Aaron Taylor-Johnson (who, by the way, isn’t even hot in my opinion, either, so I lost on all fronts). Also, whenever he was with Elizabeth Olsen, there was no chemistry there either. Ken Watanabe, another big name draw, was also barely around. I just want to express my irritation with that. I hated how whenever Godzilla came across those mutos, we saw nothing, just some news snippets after the fact. Goddammit people, I came here for the Big G! I must confess that I thought Godzilla was really well done (on the rare occasions you did get to see him). He was massive, he looked amazing, he moved extremely well, the water shots were brilliant… but that is all I can say for it really.


Sporadic Scene: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) – You Shall Not Pass

If you have a scene that you would like featured, drop me a mail at sporadiczoe@hotmail.com with a picture/gif/video of the scene and an explanation as to why (should you want to include it).


Marvellous Mondays: The Punisher by Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

Zoë:

Check out my entry to my Best Chemistry Kidney Natasha’s Marvellous Mondays blogathon!

Originally posted on Life of this city girl:

Marvel logo

Happiest of Mondays fair friends! Today I have the absolutely enormous pleasure of hosting one of my favourite people on this planet for the Marvelous Monday blogathon. I hereby introduce my bestie Zoë, who not only rocks, but hosts an awesome blog over at the Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger. If you haven’t yet followed her, do yourself a favour and hop over. (If you are interested in picking up a movie, check out the available movies here and let me know!)

So when my best Chemistry Kidney decided to start hosting Marvellous Mondays, I thought it was a fantastic idea. I got even more excited when she said she would be opening it for anyone and everyone to participate if they wanted to. I mean really? Hell yeah, I was so in! I get to talk about The Punisher yet again? I wanted to. Granted, there…

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Character Tribute: Eric Northman

So I have been chewing on this idea for a while now, and I have decided that I will be putting out some character tributes for characters I have particularly enjoyed in a movie or a series. I thought there would be no better way that to start this segment off with a bang, giving Eric Northman the spotlight!

eric northman tribute

Whether you liked True Blood or not, it cannot be denied that whether things were good or bad, Eric Northman was a damn entertaining character all round. He kept me watching until the fairy crap, and then I went off the show, then I got back on it, and I must confess, it was still Eric that had me coming back for more and more and more. Portrayed by the delectable Alexander Skarsgård, Eric is sassy, cocky, cheeky, indifferent and just plain down fabulous. I decided I will talk about some of the reasons I love him, though in no particular order.

The way he could always make an entrance.

eric northman kicking in doors

Every time he got in Bill’s hair, it was like big points for you my friend. He was not even subtle about it. The two were great when they got on one another’s nerves.

bill and eric arguing again

Eric’s relationship with Pam. This is something that I have spoken about before, and this is no exception. I absolutely adored the two of them together. Eric, always indifferent and cruel and cut off from the world, was a whole different creature when Pam was involved. When things went right, they were always sniping at each other, but in a soft way. When things got serious, you could see how close they were.

pam and eric haireric and pam

Eric’s ascention into the modern day and age, and how he can sometimes pass for being normal.

eric and the phone

His absolute and unwavering loyalty to Godric. Crushing.

godric and eric

Whenever Eric is over listening to someone and he just moves on to other things… how do you blame the guy?

eric hot

His amazing on screen persona, there is just a dash of regular Eric under the business and caring facade presented to the public, and I like that.

eric politician or vampire

The reading… in a leather jacket. And those eyes. The hair. The looks. All of it. Eric didn’t even need to open his mouth to dominate a scene.

eric reading deliciously

Dat ass…

eric northman bum1

He is not all up to date with the times, and doesn’t have time to wade through all the jargon. Cut to the chase.

eric don't speak techie to me

No matter what, Pam and Eric were always in it together.

eric and pam

When Eric shares something deeper, it always shocks you.

eric northman being nice

Drunk Eric was so amusing.

drunk erickrokodiler

When he kissed Pam, and I was finally satisfied, and knew that they were perfect in every single way.

eric and pam gif

The way a simple thing like sunbathing could induce a mini heart-attack…

eric northman tanning in sweden

When sarcastic Eric makes an appearance. Always worth checking out!

eric lilith can fucking blow meeric sarcastic agagin

The way he could wear a tracksuit and it didn’t even faze me.

eric northman it's the new me

How he just couldn’t stay too serious for too long.

eric northman that was saucy

That time Eric wanted to drive, and dropped in to ask it.

eric begging to drive

Throned Eric. Has anyone ever looked that fine while brooding atop a throne in a strip joint/bar? I think not. But nevertheless, the location was unimportant, Eric sat on that throne like the Viking king he was.

hot eric in the club

Subservient and displeased about it, Eric was not a fan of being Bill’s underling. Without outright telling him that, it was the smaller, more sarcastic gestures that made this perfect.

sarcastic to the king eric

The way he says some things, and manages to get away with it.

we fight like siblings but fuck like champions

Every time we were rewarded with this…

eric taking shirt off

Whenever he did something out of character, he still somehow managed to make it work.

eric in car

He provided the best cleaning service you could possibly hope for.

eric-northman-one-man-cleaning-crew1

The time he showed up at the Governor’s mansion looking like this:

eric northman geek

The way he recognised Ginger purely by her scream, and went back to save her.

eric northman i know that screameric northman i know that scream

Through the ups and downs of the show, I will have to admit that Eric was a large reason I stuck around. Farewell!

goodnbge


JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home (1986)

jb and the chop present star trek banner

I wonder how many people enjoyed The Voyage Home? Surely a handful of you did…? Well, Eric The Chop of The IPC and I get into The Voyage Home, and have quite an amount of views to share on it! Read on to find out more.

star trek the voyage home poster

SYNOPSIS: James Kirk who after rescuing Mr. Spock and bringing him to Vulcan where he is fully restored, is now the most hated man in the universe, because he disobeyed his superiors and killed a Klingon crew and took their ship. After three months on Vulcan, Kirk decides to return to Earth to face the consequences of his actions along with his crew who aided him. Also accompanying them is Mr. Spock, who is still trying to understand his human side. What they don’t know is that an alien probe approaches Earth and is emitting a signal that nullifies all power systems. And it is now vaporizing the planet’s oceans covering the planet in a cloud that covers the earth cutting them off from the sun – the planet’s main source of energy. The President of the Federation sends a transmission telling everyone about what is happening and to stay away from earth. Kirk upon hearing it, checks out the probe’s transmission and Spock postulates that the alien is not hostile merely unaware that it’s … – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well, fourth outing here for the franchise, and this one took my by complete surprise the first time I saw it. Don’t get me wrong, it is totally, completely 80s, but it is also endlessly entertaining. The Voyage Home boasts one of the weakest plots ever, but it makes it work, no matter what. There was so much tongue-in-cheek humour, and it was done pretty well. There is no other way to look at this movie aside from fun, and it resonates that all the way through.

There were just so many scenes that had me in stitches. I figured I would just pick a  few and lay them out here. Spock’s use and understanding of “the hell”, the 60s being the LDS era (that actually happened), and then one of my personal favourite gems, Scotty coming across a computer from the 80s are just some of the bizarre and amusing scenes we come across. Scottty and the PC must have been extremely difficult to adapt to. Besides that, they looked like total idiots coming in there, though it was soon shown they are ridiculously smart. However, no matter how smart, this does not instill faith (Bones looks way too proud of Scotty):

scotty h ello computer

Sulu also had me laughing what with the Huey he went to get for the master plan of getting plexiglas into the Vulcan renamed HMS Bounty (again, Bones is the best). It suited him though, even though it left rippling effects when attempting to fly the spacecraft back out.

sulu huey

Kirk’s reaction to seeing Spock in the humpback whale tank communicating with them is freaking priceless.

kirk horrified

Also, Pavlov Chekov asking for the location of nuclear vessels, as a Russian, was most likely not his smartest move.

nuclear wessels

Leonard “Bones” McCoy is just a favourite of mine: brusque, smart, rude and fast, he always gets me. But his reaction to going back to the 20th century, back to primitive medication and treatments, that got me. His usual grouchy self showed more compassion, but not once did his sheer indignation go unnoticed. It also showcases his knowledge in the area, something we don’t always get to have a look at.

bones 1bones2bones3bones4bones5bones6

Evidently I am a fan of this movie. It is cheesy, it is lame, it is amusing, and it just works on so many levels. I always enjoy watching this one, and I would recommend you check it out if you haven’t, or rewatch if you have. It’s a great way to put a stupid, goofy smile on your face! Anyway, enough about this all. I’m going to end my two cents with this gem:

scotty there be whales here

 

the chop

Here we are again with an even numbered release and I am pretty sure this thing made some good money – I wouldn’t say this is the best in the franchise but I will say one thing – this thing is fucking LOL funny! And it means to be – I think the first three films came out as they were – with people dying and they were all serious – but this one is different. Bones goes around “God Damning” everything and, since they go back in time to the 80s, Kirk has to revert to using the vernacular of the time.

STTVHA

But since they’re all from the future, no one knows what any of that means so when Spock tries to use “the hell” – as in “What the hell?” it’s an absolute crack up.

STTVHB

Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell “your” whales.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told you that.
Spock: The hell they did.
Punk on bus: [Playing loud music on the bus]
Kirk: Excuse me.
Punk on bus: [He ignores him]
Kirk: Excuse me. Would you mind stopping that noise?
Punk on bus: [He turns it up louder]
Kirk: [louder and firmer] Excuse me! Would you mind stopping that damn noise?
Punk on bus: [He flips him off]
Kirk: [He looks at Spock]
Spock: [He gives the punk the Vulcan neck-pinch, followed by the delighted applause of the grateful bus passengers]
Kirk: Spock, where the hell’s the power you promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: [at Spock] No, Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes, I love Italian…
[looks at Spock]
Kirk: And so do you.
Spock: Yes.

STTVHC

I’m sure JB has entertained this morning with the plot and such so I won’t go into it down here but I will say that this movie is fun to watch. All of the characters get their own pieces of work instead of the main focus only being on Kirk and Spock, which was well done. You do have to be careful though – it’s VERY 80s. Also – I’m not sure why this pulled up during my Google search for “Star Trek 4″ images but:

STTVHD

And let’s not even mention this:

STTVHE

All in all I think this is a fun movie that’s worth a re-watch if it’s been since the theaters when you saw it last.


Review: Club Dead – Charlaine Harris

club dead cover

Bon Temps, Louisiana, is a small town. It is home to telepath Sookie Stackhouse, a waitress at the local bar. Her boyfriend, the vampire Bill Compton, has been working long and hard at some project he is not sharing with her, and has been a little distant. He says that he is going to Seattle to do work for the queen of Louisiana, and the two part on rough terms. His work is a secret, and apparently Bill’s superior, head of Area 5, Eric Northman, does not know about it.  Within a few days Eric sends the undead Elvis “Bubba” Presley to protect Sookie until he arrives. This turns out to be a fortunate thing when Bubba kills a werewolf biker who makes an attempt on her life.

Eric’s arrival brings news that Bill is missing. Sookie was under the impression his work would take longer, yet Eric says that Bill was supposed to return home the night before and did not, and that he had been heard from again. Sookie knows nothing of the secret work that Bill had been conducting, but is aware that his computer and all the relevant material has been stored in her house. She does not share this information. Pam pushes and eventually Eric is forced to relent and share with Sookie that Bill had been in contact with his ex-lover Lorena, and it seems he has left Sookie for Lorena. Sookie is crushed, but feels that she is obligated to help Bill out at the very least, especially when it becomes evident that Lorena may very well have been the vampire to sink Bill into a world of trouble. She also brokers a deal with Eric to take Lorena out if she is responsible. Eric arranges with Alcide Herveaux, a werewolf, who owes him a favour, to take Sookie to Jackson to listen in and find out who has Bill. He does not approach Russell Edgington, the king of Mississippi, fearing that he may be involved with Bill’s disappearance.

Sookie fronts as Alcide’s new girlfriend, and gets along famously with his sister Janice. Struggling to deal with losing Bill, still needing to help him, and having been left without knowing it, Sookie is very drawn to Alcide. He is having his own serious issues what with a nasty breakup with his ex-girlfriend Debbie, a shape-shifter, the two get too cosy. The two establish that maybe one day, when they are free and their current ex-partners are no longer an issue, they could try to have something. Eric makes an appearance in Jackson as Leif, his fictitious persona that he brings out when he is undercover, and is keeping an eye on Sookie, too. A dead werewolf who threatened Sookie at the exclusive Club Dead, where she was conduction her telepathic investigation, turns up in Alcide’s closet, and the two panic, hiding his corpse. Bill is in Jackson, and Russell Edgington has him. Sookie is going to need all the help she can get from Eric and Alcide to rescue him.

Will Alcide help Sookie out when he is evidently very interested in her? Will Sookie be able to save Bill? Did Eric truly wish to spare Sookie pain when he didn’t tell her about Bill leaving her, or was it simply because it would be easier to manipulate her if she thought that all was still well? What exactly is it that Bill was working on, and how did the project get him into such a position? Did Lorena betray Bill? Do Alcide and Sookie have a future together?

GRADE 7Another decent entry, one that I had fun with, no matter what. Finally the huge and obligatory crack between Bill and Sookie has emerged, and we all know that usually in a romance these things are patched up. Sookie’s mind is seriously confused and all that. Bill’s kidnapping left a lot of space for Eric in this book, which I appreciated because he is a character that I thoroughly enjoy and who entertains me endlessly. He is such a cruel dude, but he is also incredibly thoughtful (in his own demented way), funny, and loyal insomuch as he is able to be. Alcide was also a new character who I liked significantly. He was hardy, down to earth, albeit a little grumpy. He is hardworking, loyal, extremely kind, and appreciative. Russell Edgington was such a brief character, flying in and out. I still find it exceptionally amusing that Elvis is among the undead community, though daft, he is royalty. He is pretty sweet. Pam still doesn’t really have a large part of this book, either, but I like her. Bill’s unfaithfulness with Lorena was swept up under the rug rather quickly, and I was hoping for more explanation and closure there, like where she had come up again, how they got in touch, blah blah blah. Now it’s just rushed off and done with. It seems that anything and everything with a supernatural power is drawn to Sookie, and that can become a little grating at times. Also, it seems that she is permanently on her death  bed or being beat on, which I really don’t think is cool. She must make up her damn mind already about how and where she wants to fit in.


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