JB & The Chop Do: A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 – Dream Warriors (1987)

a nightmare on elm street2

Moving on to the next Elm Street film, this is one of the last few that the audience seems to have appreciated, and it touted some grand effects. I also think that this was one of the last pretty decent ones before it went straight into all that cheese – and not all particularly good cheese, either.  It’s pretty obvious that I like it BUT what did the Chop think of the third Krueger outing?

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 DREAM WARRIORS POSTER

SYNOPSIS: Nancy has grown up and become a psychiatrist specializing in dream therapy. She meets a group of children at a local hospital facing Freddy Krueger, the same demon she once encountered in her sleep. One of them is Kristen, who has the power to draw other people into her dreams. Working with a male doctor assigned to the case, Nancy helps the kids realize their special abilities within the nightmare world. When Freddy captures one of her charges, she leads a rescue attempt into Krueger’s domain, in hopes of putting his spirit to rest once and for all. – via IMDB

JB: Well, Chop, this is one that I quite enjoyed. How about you?

CHOP: Yeah, JB, I liked it fine but (for real???):

NOES3tc1

JB: I know this one wasn’t like the greatest, and it sure as hell had flaws, but I had a lot of fun with it. There was plenty of cheese, but it was still more serious than most.

CHOP: I really couldn’t get past the big penis worm thing (and it happened so early) BUT the penis worm did lead to a fucking fantastic post – remember THIS??

JB: Hahahaha! Yes, yes I remember that just fine! Alright… there was the whole penis worm mistake and all that (though there was an impressive amount of work that went into making that happen), but then this death is still one of my all-time favourites of the series. I thought it was just awesome, though it was pretty sad that they pegged off the only semi-cutie to check out so early. Besides that, you can’t deny the scene is great and the puppet master brutal.

nightmare on elm street puppet

CHOP: Speaking of cuties, remember when Patricia Arquette looked like this???

PA1

CHOP: But – back to the movie. I really liked the first one but that second was kind of iffy in that Male Ass kind of way. Remember, I had never seen any of the sequels except for this one, on a challenge from a couple of bloggers. HAHAHA. That post is so old even YOU haven’t even looked at it LOL. I didn’t love it any more the second time around.

JB: Granted, Dreams Warriors had some cheesy one liners all over it, and some things that were just mad. However, every here and there was a gem to be found. I had a good giggle over this one:

welcome to primetime bitch

JB: I know that there were a lot of people that bitched about the drug section of this one, like Taryn that was an addict, and Freddy that preyed on that. I won’t lie, I thought those track marks were fucking nasty. YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK. And yes. Now everyone will suffer with me.

a nightmare on elm street 3 syringe fingers let's get higha nightmare on elm street dream warriors track marks

CHOP: Those fucking sucky things on her arm were nasty. Kind of like this:

FN

JB: Yeah, kinda exactly like that. What the hell was that even all about? As for your pic… I don’t even think that I want to know…

CHOP: LOL – do you not remember that part?? HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well – there’s also some of this:

NOES3hair

CHOP: And, since we’re into GIFs:

NOES3gif

JB: Yep, I remember the part! It was pretty nasty. Like… really not the way you want your luck to end…

CHOP: I did kind of like how Langenkamp was in this one again. for some reason that struck me as cool even though she can’t act for shit. I like how this ALWAYS shows up every time I google Heather Langenkamp:

HL2

JB: Who in the hell is that?!

CHOP: LOL – I have no fucking clue but she shows up every time I google Langenkamp. So does this:

HL3

CHOP: I did not put that arrow on there. If wanted to showcase the pimple, I would do something like this:

HL5JB: Naturally, always subtle my Chop. Love it.


Review: The Villa – Nora Roberts

the villa cover

SYNOPSIS: Sophia Giambelli has never worried about competition. For three generations, the Giambelli wines have been renowned for their quality– from Napa Valley to Italy, and throughout the world. The pride of the Giambelli family and a top PR executive, Sophia loves her job– and excels at it. But things are about to change at Villa Giambelli. Tereza, the matriarch, has announced a merger with the MacMillan family’s winery– and Sophia will be assuming a new role. As a savvy businesswoman, she knows she must be prepared for anything . . . but she isn’t prepared for Tyler MacMillan. They’ve been ordered to work together very closely, to facilitate the merger. Sophia must teach Ty the finer points of marketing– and Ty, in turn, shows her how to get down and dirty, to use the sun, rain, and earth to coax the sweetest grapes from the vineyard.

As they toil together, both in and out of the fields, Sophia is torn between a powerful attraction and a professional rivalry. At the end of the season, the course of the company’s future– and the legacy of the villa– may take an entirely new direction. And when acts of sabotage threaten both the family business and the family itself, Sophia’s quest will be not only for dominance, but also for survival.

GRADE 7.5Well, I know that this isn’t the way I usually write a book review, but there was an awful lot going on in here and an abundance of characters, so I figured I would just take the synopsis of it and then add my opinion. The Villa is just one of those things I got roped into. Once I was told to read some ludicrous vampire trilogy by Nora Roberts as it was her “best work”. Seeing as Natasha is such a huge fan of the woman, I figured why not? Then it was all about the milky mounds of some woman’s breasts and all sorts of paperback porn and I immediately abandoned that outing. I was not impressed. Recently Natasha and I traded some book suggestions, and she gave me grief for allowing what she perceives to be some of Roberts’ worst work define the writer for me. I started The Villa very warily (Natasha’s review for more details), sure that I was going to get a whole lot of other crap. Then there were so many characters, and Italians galore, I was wondering if there was any way I was going to be able to remember everything. The characters were initially introduced, shallow and hurriedly, but as the book progresses, the characters grow immensely, and it is a lovely journey to undertake. I was rather irritated reading about the business and marketing side of things that she brought in from time to time (it annoys the hell out of me), but I cannot fault Roberts for the sheer amount of research that went into the novel. I learned quite a bit about vineyards and winemaking and all, but I am never going to be a vintner. The book has a strange feel to it, but it was a good one. I was engrossed and I enjoyed the read, though I must say some of those bedroom scenes leaned a little towards milky mounds and all sorts. It was certainly a well laid out book, though the villain was easy to spot, and something else niggles at you and makes perfect sense at the end exactly how that slotted in. The emphasis on family and business was great. Pilar’s growth was lovely, and the Cutter family opening up and taking her in was also quite charming. I liked reading about Sophia and Tyler, though it was evident from the off how that would come together, it was still rather fun to go with. While this is a romance novel, it is not necessarily dominated by that factor, which is probably why I appreciated this more than most. At least The Villa has shown me that Roberts isn’t as dreadful a writer as I initially suspected.


Review: Mean Girls (2004)

mean girls poster

“Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?”
– Mrs Norbury

SYNOPSIS: Raised in African bush country by her zoologist parents, Cady Heron thinks she knows about survival of the fittest. But the law of the jungle takes on a whole new meaning when the home-schooled 16-year-old enters public high school for the first time and encounters psychological warfare and unwritten social rules that teenage girls face today. – via IMDB

There were some real gems sprinkled throughout this movie.

The first major lesson that I learned from this.

mean girls beware the plastics

As someone who lives in South Africa, this is something that has happened before (sadly).

mean girls if you're from africa

Then there was irregardless…

irregardless mean girls

I totally understood Damian’s reaction here… though not for some stupid tiara… There are other things in life that incite this.

mean girls breaking the tiara

There were some real pearls of wisdom in Mean Girls.

mean girls evil quotemean girls stop calling each other sluts and whores

Karen was just… so special…

mean girls fifth sense

Damian provided me with quite a few good laughs.

mean girls hairmean girls she doesn't even go heremean girls oh no she did not

I don’t actually know what to say about this, but the logic here wasn’t flawed, it is something I have noticed…

mean girls halloween

Janis and Damian rocked that prom look, I loved this scene!

mean girls janis and damian prom

Kevin G was just… no…

mean girls kevin g

But he had his moments!

mean girls kevin g

How something really small can make someone so happy. I mean just look at Karen, who was so enthusiastic about Pink Wednesdays.

mean girls pink wednesdays

Getting pregnant is the fastest, most surefire way of dying… effective immediately.

mean girls pregnancy effects

People should be licensed to have kids…

mean girls worlds worst mum

GRADE 7.5Mean Girls is one of those films that hold up well, even after all these years. This ended up on the “to watch” list for a girl’s night because of Tom’s review a while ago. Well, imagine my surprise seeing a healthy and pretty Lindsay Lohan on the screen… a girl that actually wasn’t useless! Also, a younger, meaner Rachel McAdams was also entertaining, and Amanda Seyfried was excellent as the seriously daft blonde friend. There was a lot going on in this movie in terms of realising how nasty girls are and how insanely cruel kids can be, and the ordeal that high school can become. It’s movies like this that remind me why I am so glad we wore uniforms to school every day… I mean really. I didn’t have to deal with certain things, but other things stayed typically high school, doesn’t matter where you go. I liked the message behind this movie, comedy as it is presented and all, it strives to tell us other things. As something that comes across as a serious chick flick, there are things here that the guy’s will enjoy too, even if it is just the girls being ridiculous and running around in minimal amounts of clothing. The humour in  here was spot on, and it’s a pretty fun movie overall. The camera work was good, and I liked the way the plot progressed. I gotta say, Janis and Cady need to learn a thing or two about taking an organisation down from the inside – foot cream is so not the way to go about that! Damian was one super cool character who just stole every moment he was on screen, and provided me with many giggles. There is plenty that I am sure most people will identify with in here. I had a laugh at some of the dialogue, and there is plenty that is rather quotable. Mean Girls was entertaining, one of those movies you can go back and watch once in a while and not be wasting your time.


Sporadic Scene: The Dark Knight (2008) – The Joker’s Magic Trick

If you have a scene that you would like featured, drop me a mail at sporadiczoe@hotmail.com with a picture/gif/video of the scene and an explanation as to why (should you want to include it).


Review: About A Boy (2002)

about a boy poster

“It happens, and I wish it didn’t, but that’s life, isn’t it?”
– Marcus

SYNOPSIS: Will, a rich, child-free and irresponsible Londoner in his thirties who, in search of available women, invents an imaginary son and starts attending single parent meetings. As a result of one of his liaisons, he meets Marcus, an odd 12-year-old boy with problems at school. Gradually, Will and Marcus become friends, and as Will teaches Marcus how to be a cool kid, Marcus helps Will to finally grow up. – via IMDB

about a boy shake yo ass

GRADE 7.5So a few months back I read Dan’s review of this film, and it got me thinking back on it. There was not a lot that I remembered about it, but then I was like 12 or 13 when I last saw it. I decided that it was time to check this out again, and I am glad that I did. About A Boy is an incredibly depressing film, but also inspiring and hopeful. I got so crushed and angry watching Marcus because kids are cruel, and I was peeved as sin at his mother. It is never the child’s job to look after the parent. However, there were a few things that niggled at me. For instance, it was never explained why Fiona was so depressed, and why she attempted suicide, little things like that. Then again, I was not watching this for Fiona. About A Boy is all about the relationship that forms between Marcus and Will in both of their lowest and most desperate moments. The change that comes over Marcus is astounding now that he just has someone that takes an interest in him. He is such a sweet and adorable young boy. I think that Nicholas Hoult did an amazing job with his character. I don’t know when last I have seen Hugh Grant in a movie, and probably the first time I have watched him in anything as an adult. I don’t think I will ever understand why this man was so popular when I was younger. He sort of slipped off the radar, too. Aside from all that, I really liked what he did with his character in this, and it was lovely to watch him grow, too. Will and Marcus provided beautiful things for one another. There were a few scenes that had me laughing here, and I was particularly amused by the “Watch Yourself” bit at school, that was one thing I always remembered clearly from this. If you have never seen About A Boy, I would recommend you check it out, and if you have, it’s probably not too crazy to consider a rewatch!


Film Club: Batman (1989)

Zoë:

Head in over to What About The Twinkie? to read an array of reviews for Burton’s 1989 Batman for this month’s Film Club!

Originally posted on what about the twinkie?:

Batman-Logo

In this months edition of Film Club, Cathal, aka The Narrator, chose Tim Burton’s Batman as our film of the month. It was another interesting choice and one that didn’t go down as well with some as it did with others, while it also brought out inevitable comparisons to Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight films.

Keep reading for everyone’s thoughts on the original Batman.

View original 4,394 more words


Review: Dead in the Family – Charlaine Harris

dead in the family

The Southern Vampire Mysteries / Sookie Stackhouse #10

Sookie Stackhouse, local Bon Temps waitress and telepath, is recovering from her torturous ordeal in the Fae War that she survived recently. Her roommate, witch Amelia Broadway, moves out of the house, and Sookie is alone and terrified. Her relationship with vampire Sheriff of Area 5, Eric Northman, is also suffering, and she needs to find a way to get out of it. Before she can think about it too much, her fairy cousin Claude Crane asks her if he can move in with her, which she allows. She gets a call from Alcide Herveaux, packmaster of the Shreveport werewolves, asking her if they can use her land on the night of the full moon, to which she agrees.

However, after the full moon, Alcide’s enforcer Basim tells her that there is a body on her land, as well as the scent of a fairy. Eric comes to see Sookie, and the two are interrupted when Eric’s maker, Appius Livius Ocella, appears at Sookie’s house with his latest protege, Alexie Romanov. It seems that Alexei is becoming hard to keep a handle on, and Ocella thought that Eric might be of assistance. Sookie’s blood bond with Eric weakens her even more when she is now aware of all three the vampires through her connection to him, seeing as they all share blood. She tells Eric of the fact that his “tracker”, Heidi, found a fresh body on her land after she told him of the unknown fairy wandering her land previously, and a party is formed to check out who is buried there. Alcide is requested to join, and the fresh corpse the group finds is Basim. It seems that Alcide’s new girlfriend Annabelle may be involved, and he calls a meeting, which Sookie and Jason must attend. However, it seems someone set Sookie up, because soon the cops arrive to investigate the possibility of a dead body on her property.

Sam Merlotte, Sookie’s boss and friend, is having issues at the bar when some of the locals start protesting against the fact that he is a shapeshifter, and are siding with a large majaroty of the population what want the two natured community to register themselves. Bill Compton, Sookie’s ex-boyfriend, is not healing very well from the wounds he sustained protecting Sookie in the Fae War, and seems to think that blood from his maker will heal him. Seeing as Sookie killed Lorena, she wonders if Bill’s “sister” would be of any help, and sets out to track her down to ask for her assistance. Sookie is getting edgy seeing as she has had a run in with Dermot, her great-uncle  that fought against her great-grandfather in the Fae War, who looks exactly like Jason but wants her dead. Scared of that, Sookie is also progressively getting more peeved with the fact that Eric has not been in contact with her, and that he is miserable with Ocella being around with Alexei.

Will Bill ever heal? What will happen to Sam in the Bon Temps community what with people now deciding that he is not like them, and that he will pay for it? Who killed Basim and tried to frame Sookie for it? Will Eric be able to help Ocella with Alexei? Will Ocella leave Eric alone when all is said and done? Was Annabelle involved with whatever happened to Basim?

GRADE 4.5So this one really didn’t thrill me so much. There were some serious issues that I had with it, things that have been irritating me a while since I have been reading these, but that just reached a crescendo. For me, a huge issue is the way Sookie continually refers back to her Christianity and faith and the type of Christian she is, and how her thoughts are not Christian enough or something like that. I absolutely cannot stand people that are like that. Don’t tell us all about how you are a good or a bad Christian because of your choices, just get the hell on with it already. People that talk like that, for me, are pretentious and not as devout as they may claim. Ten books on, every book has brought it up without fail. I am over it. Then, what was this ridiculous stuff of oneys and twoeys and deaders all of a sudden?!  As if weretiger, werepanther, wereanimal, wereanything and fairies weren’t embarrassing enough, it went on in this direction, too. Uhm… it looks even  more ridiculous. Dead in the Family also didn’t contain a particlar amount of humour, and Sookie is (again) whinging constantly and everything is still about her. It was interesting to read about Eric’s maker, but it was seriously underplayed, and silly. I wanted just a little more detail there. Harris also seems to have a thing of bringing famous dead people back. I love how Bubba is around in the other books, but seriously, how many famous dead people could you possibly rewrite? However, Alexei, shallow as his character was, most certainly had potential as the history surrounding the slain Russian royal family has always been interesting. Anyway, besides that, there is not really too much to report on further in here. It reads quickly (as do all the others), but squandered scenes that could have resonated more (Bill’s illness, Caroline Bellefleur learning about Bill, Ocella’s return, Eric’s fear, the protesters against the two natured, Sam’s bar, the fairy that is “stalking” Sookie, etc). Plus two… where was sexy, snappy, cheeky Eric the Viking?! Also, before this I had to read a short story called Two Blondes, and I have absolutely no idea why I had to. There was no mention of that little adventure or the politics of it, the whole thing with Victor taking over is taking quite the backseat, Sookie’s stilted psychology after her torture just righted itself way too quickly, Amelia disappeared quickly and Claude moved in fast. Nah, definitely not my favourite of the lot, to be honest, it feels really inconsistent with the other books.


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