Tag: Scotty

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek V – The Final Frontier (1989)

Posted on by theipc

jb and the chop present star trek banner

Good morning,

Here I am again, writing the intro for this wretched thing. Well – I guess it’s not WRETCHED but it’s not any good. I think everyone was kind of getting too big for their britches after the success of the previous three movies and it showed here. I mean , Kirk climbing El Capitan bare handed??? Uhura nude??? Suddenly Spock has a brother??? GOD???? PUHLEASE. Much like I imagine the emissions that would come from Spock’s anus after he ate those beans McCoy made with whiskey, this one was basically a fart that lingered. Not my favorite. How did I end up with all of the odd ones, JB???? HUH??? HUH??? HUH????????? o_O

star trek the final frontier poster1

SYNOPSIS: When the newly-christened starship Enterprise’s shakedown cruise goes poorly, Captain Kirk and crew put it into Spacedock for repairs. But an urgent mission interrupts their Earth-bound shore leave. A renegade Vulcan named Sybok has taken three consuls hostage on the planet Nimbus III, an event which also attracts the attention of a Klingon captain who wants to make a name for himself. Sybok’s ragtag army captures the Enterprise and takes it on a journey to the center of the galaxy in search of the Supreme Being. – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well, whatever happened here I knew it wasn’t going to be great. I knew that this one was all about the “search for God” and all that, and that doesn’t even really faze me in the least, but this was just a mess. There were so many places that something great could have been done, but instead it wasn’t. What a damn loss this was! Completely and utterly, and this after the immense amounts of (stupid) fun that was The Voyage Home.

Here were something that had the potential to win me over on so many levels but didn’t:

the final frontier sybok nazgul

It should totally have been more like this:

the lord of the rings black riders nazgul

I mean whoop! But instead: dismount Sybok, and the damnation of the film is nigh. I suppose I might also just be having severe Lord of the Rings withdrawals… oh well…

Then, of course, there was the incredible epiphany I reached when looking too closely at the mount – another place that was just weird, and not in the good way:

final frontier sybok unicorn horse

Another thing, I just really, really didn’t like what was cracking with Spock in this one. It got grating and annoying and it got that way quickly. Also, I don’t know if I missed something with Scotty and Uhura, but luckily that doesn’t bug me too much.

What I did like, though, was the way that Scotty didn’t give a damn if they were meeting with God or not, or making history or not. He had one job, one passion: the Enterprise. His consistency is amazing.

Anyhow, The Final Frontier was just lame and bland and silly, and it really could have gone a whole other way. For example, if you look at what Bones did to his father, that scene had all the potential to have a much larger impact. Instead, nothing. There were funny bits, though, such as Sulu and Chekov vacationing and getting lost, faking a blizzard to Uhura. I mean really? Also, Spock’s desire for logic, and Bones’s desperate desire to see Spock just be normal.

I was a pretty big fan of Scotty busting Kirk, Spock, and a very grumpy Bones out of the brig. The morse code? The yelling? All of it worked rather well together.

Also, Kirk confessing the fact he would die alone and that coming up again later should have resonated far, far more than it did, and it just didn’t, unfortunately. Well, not much more to say on this, except that it dragged, then rushed, then just failed at the end of it all. Moving along!

PS: Chop! It’s not like I forced it or anything like that… it’s just… you got the short straw I suppose…

the chop

 

For today’s post, I thought I’d approach this a little differently….

PS: Today’s Star Trek post is a day early because, coming tomorrow, something special will be hosted over on The IPC and it requires centre stage and the spotlight! Keep your eyes peeled! 

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek IV – The Voyage Home (1986)

Posted on by Zoë

jb and the chop present star trek banner

I wonder how many people enjoyed The Voyage Home? Surely a handful of you did…? Well, Eric The Chop of The IPC and I get into The Voyage Home, and have quite an amount of views to share on it! Read on to find out more.

star trek the voyage home poster

SYNOPSIS: James Kirk who after rescuing Mr. Spock and bringing him to Vulcan where he is fully restored, is now the most hated man in the universe, because he disobeyed his superiors and killed a Klingon crew and took their ship. After three months on Vulcan, Kirk decides to return to Earth to face the consequences of his actions along with his crew who aided him. Also accompanying them is Mr. Spock, who is still trying to understand his human side. What they don’t know is that an alien probe approaches Earth and is emitting a signal that nullifies all power systems. And it is now vaporizing the planet’s oceans covering the planet in a cloud that covers the earth cutting them off from the sun – the planet’s main source of energy. The President of the Federation sends a transmission telling everyone about what is happening and to stay away from earth. Kirk upon hearing it, checks out the probe’s transmission and Spock postulates that the alien is not hostile merely unaware that it’s … – via IMDB

jb star trek

Well, fourth outing here for the franchise, and this one took my by complete surprise the first time I saw it. Don’t get me wrong, it is totally, completely 80s, but it is also endlessly entertaining. The Voyage Home boasts one of the weakest plots ever, but it makes it work, no matter what. There was so much tongue-in-cheek humour, and it was done pretty well. There is no other way to look at this movie aside from fun, and it resonates that all the way through.

There were just so many scenes that had me in stitches. I figured I would just pick a  few and lay them out here. Spock’s use and understanding of “the hell”, the 60s being the LDS era (that actually happened), and then one of my personal favourite gems, Scotty coming across a computer from the 80s are just some of the bizarre and amusing scenes we come across. Scottty and the PC must have been extremely difficult to adapt to. Besides that, they looked like total idiots coming in there, though it was soon shown they are ridiculously smart. However, no matter how smart, this does not instill faith (Bones looks way too proud of Scotty):

scotty h ello computer

Sulu also had me laughing what with the Huey he went to get for the master plan of getting plexiglas into the Vulcan renamed HMS Bounty (again, Bones is the best). It suited him though, even though it left rippling effects when attempting to fly the spacecraft back out.

sulu huey

Kirk’s reaction to seeing Spock in the humpback whale tank communicating with them is freaking priceless.

kirk horrified

Also, Pavlov Chekov asking for the location of nuclear vessels, as a Russian, was most likely not his smartest move.

nuclear wessels

Leonard “Bones” McCoy is just a favourite of mine: brusque, smart, rude and fast, he always gets me. But his reaction to going back to the 20th century, back to primitive medication and treatments, that got me. His usual grouchy self showed more compassion, but not once did his sheer indignation go unnoticed. It also showcases his knowledge in the area, something we don’t always get to have a look at.

bones 1bones2bones3bones4bones5bones6

Evidently I am a fan of this movie. It is cheesy, it is lame, it is amusing, and it just works on so many levels. I always enjoy watching this one, and I would recommend you check it out if you haven’t, or rewatch if you have. It’s a great way to put a stupid, goofy smile on your face! Anyway, enough about this all. I’m going to end my two cents with this gem:

scotty there be whales here

 

the chop

Here we are again with an even numbered release and I am pretty sure this thing made some good money – I wouldn’t say this is the best in the franchise but I will say one thing – this thing is fucking LOL funny! And it means to be – I think the first three films came out as they were – with people dying and they were all serious – but this one is different. Bones goes around “God Damning” everything and, since they go back in time to the 80s, Kirk has to revert to using the vernacular of the time.

STTVHA

But since they’re all from the future, no one knows what any of that means so when Spock tries to use “the hell” – as in “What the hell?” it’s an absolute crack up.

STTVHB

Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell “your” whales.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: I suppose they told you that.
Spock: The hell they did.
Punk on bus: [Playing loud music on the bus]
Kirk: Excuse me.
Punk on bus: [He ignores him]
Kirk: Excuse me. Would you mind stopping that noise?
Punk on bus: [He turns it up louder]
Kirk: [louder and firmer] Excuse me! Would you mind stopping that damn noise?
Punk on bus: [He flips him off]
Kirk: [He looks at Spock]
Spock: [He gives the punk the Vulcan neck-pinch, followed by the delighted applause of the grateful bus passengers]
Kirk: Spock, where the hell’s the power you promised?
Spock: One damn minute, Admiral.
Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: [at Spock] No, Yes.
Spock: No.
Kirk: Yes, I love Italian…
[looks at Spock]
Kirk: And so do you.
Spock: Yes.

STTVHC

I’m sure JB has entertained this morning with the plot and such so I won’t go into it down here but I will say that this movie is fun to watch. All of the characters get their own pieces of work instead of the main focus only being on Kirk and Spock, which was well done. You do have to be careful though – it’s VERY 80s. Also – I’m not sure why this pulled up during my Google search for “Star Trek 4” images but:

STTVHD

And let’s not even mention this:

STTVHE

All in all I think this is a fun movie that’s worth a re-watch if it’s been since the theaters when you saw it last.

JB & The Chop Do: Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Posted on by Zoë

jb and the chop present star trek banner

The Chop and I return, yet again, to delve into the world that is Star Trek, to foray into another film, new territory, and see what comes from it. This is the second installment to the Stark Trek film franchise, and certainly one of the more loved ones. Without further ado, I am going to step aside so that we can chat about The Wrath of Khan in more detail.

star trek wrath of khan poster

SYNOPSIS: It is the 23rd century. Admiral James T. Kirk is feeling old; the prospect of accompanying his old ship, the USS Enterprise – now a Starfleet Academy training ship–on a two-week cadet cruise is not making him feel any younger. But the training cruise becomes a deadly serious mission when his nemesis Khan Noonien Singh–genetic conqueror from late 20th century Earth–appears after years of exile. He begins capturing Project Genesis, a device holding the power of creation itself, and schemes the utter destruction of Kirk. – via IMDB

jb star trek

So I watched this for the second time, and only the second time ever. The first time that I watched this, I really didn’t know what the hell was really cracking, and I wasn’t a fan of it. I followed the story, I figured out what was going on, but it still just didn’t work for me. Hence I have never been a fan. Then The Chop and I decided to do a Star Trek run, and guess what? I would have to be watching this one again.

I asked Eric to fill me in more about the background of this, seeing as I have never watched the show, so I don’t have a history of what to look for, or why this would be cool, etc. I know that The Wrath of Khan is one of the more popular films. Luckily for me, my request was obliged. I made myself some freaking delicious chilli (recipe courtesy of Mr Isaacs, too – just check it out) and vegged out on the couch, testing these waters again. I thought it was all appropriate.

chilli con carne
Hmmmmmmm. SCRUMPTIOUS. Hot. Yummy. I just have to share this, I was so proud of it, and first attempt, too!

The movie was… much better the second time around, and with a little more backing from Eric (this is totally his forté). I was not so lost and confused, and I was far more focused. The one thing The Wrath of Khan did better than The Motion Picture was to cut out some of those ridiculously long and meandering shots. When I saw Kirk rolling up to the Enterprise again with Sulu and company, I was terrified it would be another twenty minutes of panning. Luckily this was certainly not the case, and everything rolled forwards smoothly enough.

Looking at the supporting cast, I will always enjoy George Takei as Hikaru Sulu, and DeForest Kelley remains my favourite character as Leonard “Bones” McCoy, extremely entertaining. James Doohan’s portrayal of Montgomery Scott is also fantastic, and I think he is adorable, I really enjoy watching him. This cast works well together, too, always a bonus. The effects weren’t terrible for the time, either. I must say that I was not a particularly huge fan of Ricardo Montalbán’s Khan… he was just a little… meh. Bland. Boring. If you listen to the things the other people say about him and all, you really expect someone more than the person you get. Also, what the hell is up with their outfits?! And the hair?!

khan and company

But anyways, I am sure that the costume designers thought that they were on a roll. Moving right along from that ghastly fashion statement. I find myself always laughing at Bones and Spock when they are “communicating” with each other, which is simply a nice way of saying they are permanently sniping at each other. For our amusement, of course.

The hell, things got real serious real fast there. 😦 Oh well, it is one of those scenes that actually resonate with you, and flesh a few things out, throwing some serious perspective on things. Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner pulled this together well, and I was glad that the movie wrapped up rather quickly when all was said and done, lingering would have just drawn it out. Spock’s demise was incredibly sad, and his funeral was something to see. Amazing Grace seems to be the send off song for the ages…

the chop

 

*spoilers I suppose*

For this – I want to get something off my chest. I’ve seen this movie 100s of times – the first time in the theater and I bawled my eyes out when Spock died. One of my old bosses at one of my old jobs once said to me (because I had a picture of Spock on my wall at work) “I’ve never met anyone like you, Isaacs. Most kids grow up wanting to be Kirk – I’ve never met anyone who wanted to be Spock.” Well, I did and it’s true and there it is. But the most important thing that this movie brings to me when I watch it is that my old roommate and I watched this dozens and dozens and dozens of times in the years we lived together. There’s a quote from this movie and when he was dying in that hospital bed I whispered it to him and I think he actually acknowledged it before he died during the night.

Now I don’t want to get too mushy on my JB’s blog because we’re out here to have a good time but I just wanted to say that we’ll meet again the next time around and we’ll hang with The Swede again and tear some fucking shit up like we did this last time and I fucking loved you man. You were a true friend. Remember that time I sneezed and a booger went in my Scotch but I drank it anyway? Remember that time you shit your pants on the way back from Sonic and then ran through the apartment in your shitty jeans and I projectile vomited everywhere? Man – we fucked some shit up didn’t we??

Love,

The Great Montana Jumping Spider

*sniff

Well – now that that shit’s out of the way, let’s look at The Wrath of Khan, shall we?? I’m sure the lovely SB has gone into the particulars of the movie by now so let’s have a look at a couple of things I noticed this last go around, now that I have the savvy ability to make my own screen grabs….

STWOKa

I’m not really sure if this is an accident or not but just look at the “EXIT” sign! That’s not very 23rd Century looking is it. You’d think that the United Federation of Planets would have been able to pony up a few Simolians for some fancier displays, huh? And, strangely, that’s actually the ENTRANCE to the Kobayashi Maru Testing Simulator…. Also – Is Kirk gassy?????

STWOKb

Upon arriving on the Enterprise for inspection, I see we’re getting away from the Dagwood Bumstead uniforms from the last one but we’re still “One Button” friendly in the costume department…. Also – Sulu sure looks happy over there on the side…. I wonder what he’s thinking about….?

STWOKc

Does anyone remember when Kirstie Alley was a hot piece of ass? I mean, I still think she’s pretty good lookin’ but she use to be smokin’! “Meow Pussycat” indeed!

Also – how hard is it to fuck up a fucking chicken sandwich??????

STWOKd

Lastly – the other day some broads on twitter were going off about how they didn’t cry during some woman’s movie about cancer something or other and calling themselves Cold Hearted Bitches or something and, you know what?? I cry EVERY TIME I see this:

STWOKe

When Kirk comes up and sees Spock all crouched over in the corner about to die – it breaks my heart. There’s also something very important in this scene that you may or may not know about (I wish I knew how to do gifs). When Spock hears Kirk call for him, he stands up and tugs on his shirt, pulling it into place. That’s a reference to the original TV series. They barely had any budget for costumes and most of their shirts didn’t fit so when members of the cast would stand up during shooting, they would have to pull their shirts into place so they didn’t show their belly buttons (or their beer guts). When Zachary Quinto Spock first stands up in the chamber room in the reboot I fucking cried little tears of joy, that made me SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!

The Chop might not be able to wrangle the gif, but here's the tug!
ED: Here’s the scene, Chop!

Well – I guess I better go – my mom is emailing me that she just got Text Messaging on her phone and I need to go help her figure it out : )

See Ya!

TGMJS